My Broken YOU

Broken Once

Sitting in the living room of this big, beautiful home makes me want to live a life like this. It's just an amazing feeling to be around. The simple fact that both Brayden and Mason have wealthy families and Ava and I are average is okay, but I am getting the taste of what it's like and I don't want to ever leave this kind of lifestyle.

"Who wants another drink?" Brayden calls out from behind the bar. "We have so much to choose from!"

"We have all weekend, Brayden!" I yell back trying to hold back the smile that wants to come out. "It's already two in the morning. I'm buzzed, not drunk but tired enough to want to go to bed. Goodnight, everyone!"

"Goodnight!" Ava's drunken tone calls from the pool table. "Love you girl! Don't worry about me! I have Cheetos and beer!"

A smile forms on my face. Even with the parties we go to on the weekends she never tends to drink very often. It's good to see her having fun. "Goodnight drunk girl!" I yell and wave my hand as I begin walking away.

"Yeah." I hear Mason agreeing. "I'm buzzed too. Goodnight, everyone."

My heart feels like it skips a beat, knowing he's following me to bed. Maybe he is tired. Maybe he is just following me. Maybe he has another plan. I don't even know what I am saying to myself right now, I feel so lost and slightly buzzed.

I swallow the growing knot in my throat and look over my shoulder at him slowly walking behind me. "Following me?" I softly ask.

"Again, Madison!" He sounds argumentative. "I'm going to bed just like you are. Don't flatter yourself."

"And again, Mason!" I argue and mock him. "Don't flatter yourself. I'm hardheaded and refuse to leave a room that was offered to me first!"

I push through the door. He drags his feet as he follows behind me. It's obvious that we both are buzzed. I can tell he's not drunk but he's feeling the alcohol just like I am, which makes me feel warm and loosened up.

"When did you become so rude?" He asks, his tone calm and his eyes heavy looking. "We were fine and then we weren't."

"It's two in the morning!" I argue and drop onto my bed. "I'm not starting this argument tonight. But I will say this. You're the reason why we started..." I pause trying to find the words. "Whatever this is! I asked a simple question and you refused to answer."

"Well, I'm slightly tipsy so maybe I can answer now that I have some alcohol in my system." He sits on his bed, still holding onto a bottle of beer. "I don't have feelings for you, Madison. I'm a broken person. I don't know what feelings feel like and I enjoy sex. If I ever had feelings for anyone, it would be my family and even then I don't use the word 'love'."

Shaking my head, I exhale an annoyed breath. "I don't believe you, Mason. I believe you can have feelings for people. Maybe not me, but someone someday."

"And what makes you think that?" he asks and takes another swig from his bottle.

"The way you looked into my eyes during sex. The way you wanted me to come back after Ava said you're not into having sex with women more than once or twice. You contacted me wanting to talk, Mason. You're giving me every indication that you do have feelings for me."

He sets his beer bottle on the nightstand next to the bed. His mouth partially parts and the expression on his face makes it a little obvious that he's lost for words. "That doesn't mean I care for you in any kind of way, Madison. It's just sex."