My Broken YOU

We Can

As soon as we step through the doors of the frat house all I can smell is booze and fog smoke. The small party lights and loud music seem a bit much compared to the other parties I have been to. I mean, from what I've noticed, most parties always have loud music and maybe a few party lights but this one specifically feels like more than normal.

Looking off to my left, I realize Ana has already left my side, breaking our promise to each other. Damn her! She told me unless I could handle it, she wouldn't leave my side. I feel lost, but at the same time it's not like I haven't been to a million of these things.

As I step into what I think is the living room, my eyes instantly meet with Mason's as he sits on a couch. Walking toward him must be Shelly. Yep, as she leans down, she's already trying to kiss him. He's not allowing it. His hand gently guided her face away from his.

"Seriously?" She argues, complaining like a small child. "You won't kiss me now?"

"No." He quickly responds, almost too quickly. "You wanted it like this, you have it like this. I've told you; I don't date. I've told you; we could hang out but that was it. I told you over and over, yet here you are trying to hate me for not wanting to date but then you turn around and instantly try kissing me again, in public like you're trying to stamp me 'yours'? I'm not an owned product, Shelly."

"Whatever!" She argues. Her explosive attitude allows everyone else to indulge in this drama.

"Really?" he says, gently pressing his hands against her shoulder and moving her away. "Because it sure seems like you're trying to. And the problem with that is, you know if I ever did try 'dating' someone, it wouldn't be you. You're lucky I'm around you after that stunt of yours!"

"What did she do!" Someone from the party of people yells out.

Now I'm curious as to what she did. His expression says it all. He's not lying when he's allowing her around him but does not seem thrilled about it. I can't ask if she cheated because they aren't a couple. But what could she have done to make Mason angry? And more importantly, why do I care?

I quickly avert my eyes as he looks at me, acknowledging me. Shit! He saw me staring, but again, why do I feel guilty? Everyone else is looking at them.

"Hey, pretty lady." A male voice calls from the side of me. "What is your name beautiful?"

A hand touches my back, forcing me to turn around to one of the frat boys. He looks nice, clean cut, a tucked-in button-up shirt and dress pants. His jet-black hair is slicked back and his deep brown eyes kind of match his soft smile.

"Madison," I say and kind of turn away, not wanting his attention.

"My name is Kyle." He quickly says, stepping in front of me, holding his beer and another drink in his other hand. "Here."

I'm hesitant to accept this drink. Something feels off, just not right. But I still grab it. "Thank you, Kyle. But I'm not interested."

"Oh?" He says with what seems like a questionable tone. His eyes narrow and he leans in closer to me as the music gets louder. "Why not? Was it something I did?"

"No," I say, quickly shaking my head and bringing the drink up to my lips. "I'm just not that type of girl."

"What type of girl?" He questions, trying to pry further into a conversation that I am making obvious that I do NOT want to have with him.

"I don't want to sleep with you." I spit out like word vomit, almost feeling like an idiot. That will probably piss him off and create an argument between us.

"Fair enough," he says, raising his hands and looking behind me. The fear in his eyes is clear, but my tiny little body shouldn't scare him off.

"Is there a problem here?" A voice that I recognize asks from over my shoulder and close to my ear.

"No problem, Mason," Kyle says, twisting around and quickly leaving.

Mason's hands press on my shoulders, guiding me to spin around and look him dead in the eyes. We are inches away from each other's lips. "Thank you." I softly say, barely audible. "He was a..."

"Creep!" He answers for me while the smell of his body spray surrounds me, the ocean scent drawing me closer to him. He nods his head. "That guy has more than likely done a few things to girls that I'd rather not talk about. He's an idiot and a waste of air."

"Well," I softly say again, my words almost not wanting to come out. "Thank you again, Mason."

"You're welcome." He says, a straight smile sitting on his face as he slowly backs away from me, his eyes on mine. "See you around, Madison."

"Yeah..." I quietly say, almost to myself because of how quiet it is. "See you!"

There is something inside of me that wants out and I've never felt this before. And whatever it is, wants him to be included in it. The giant knot in my throat is proof of that. It sits in there making it difficult for me to swallow. My jaw feels tight like it's impossible to speak, and overall, I feel nervous Yet there is this insatiable hunger inside of me.

"What up girl!" Ana's voice calls from behind me. "Where have you been, Madison?"

"Me?" My eyes widen as I spin around in a small bit of anger. "I just got hit on by some weirdo named Kyle and then Mason came to my rescue. Thanks! I want to go home now."

"I don't!" She quickly argues, pulling Brayden up to the side of her. "We just got here. And so, what if Kyle hit on you? He hits on everyone. He's probably moved on and already in a room with another girl."

"Hey, Mason!" Bryant yells over the loud music, waving his hand down.

"Bryant," Mason says as he steps next to me again, quickly turning his attention to me and then back to Bryant. "I'm going to head home shortly."

"So am I." I quickly say, like I'm volunteering to walk with him. "But, not for a while yet. I'm not sure why I even told you that."

Mason tilts his head, confusion growing in his expression. "I can wait. If you need someone to walk you home..."

"I don't need someone to walk me home." I interrupt in an argumentative tone. "I am a big girl and I think I can handle getting home myself. I am just saying that I am also leaving."

He raises his hands in defense, stepping away from me. His expression reminds me of someone who wants to argue, but it's obvious he's holding back.

"Whatever you say, Madison." He smirks, running his fingers down his chin and kind of stepping back, one wide step at a time. "Fine by me."

"Are you sure you don't want to go with him?" Ava questions. "Always two's never one's alone girl!"

I huff and roll my eyes. "Fine!" I agree, my tone still sounding argumentative. "I'm coming, just hold on!"

Ava quickly and playfully taps on my arm. "Have fun, girl!"

"We are just walking home!" I argue, giving her the stink eye. "Drop it!"

"We will see!" She says, her smile growing wider. "See you tomorrow, if you're at the dorm."