My Broken YOU

Truth Hurts

Ava has no idea what I feel with Mason. And I know! I know that there is nothing there between him and me because he said so. The sex is great, but he's been adamant several times on how it's only sex. But this feeling inside of me is still something. Maybe it's addiction to sex with him, but the feeling is with him only.

"I can't believe you missed our lunch!" I complain and set the pizza crust onto the plate.

"That was two days ago!" She argues, her playful smile trying to help keep the peace between us. "I'm sorry I missed lunch on Monday. I had to finish that exam and besides! We both are here now having our pizza lunch!"

I nod while taking a sip of my glass of water. I'm still lost in the thought that I did what Ava said and ignored Mason. And it terrifies me to think she is right. Since I haven't responded to him since he messaged me on Monday, I haven't heard a word from him either.

"I haven't heard from Mason." I admit, feeling silly for acting like a five-year-old and playing these games that she created. "Don't you think it's just a tad childish on doing this though?"

"Maybe." She answers as she chews a mouth full of pizza. "But!" She pauses and swallows. "I saw him in class yesterday with Karen Myers, and they looked a little cozy talking to each other."

My heart sinks to my stomach. My hand squeezes my glass of water as a small bit of jealousy tries to pour out of me in front of her. I must hide it or she's going to think I like him. Do I like him? I can't! He doesn't do relationships and it was just sex! Fuck! I like him!

"What do you mean, he looked 'cozy'?" I question as I glare at her and feel like she's now enemy number one. "Did you see them leave together..." I pause and exhale a heavy and needed breath. "You know what! It doesn't matter! He's a big boy and you're right. He will never settle down. I need to focus on finishing school and working on myself! It was fun and now it's done."

"Yes!" She applauds with a large smile that reminds me of someone praising a child for doing a good job on a test. "See, Madison! You are already working on yourself just by changing direction and forgetting about him. Move on from the boy that turned you into a woman."

"Can I ask you a question?" I blurt out, feeling like she's been against all this the entire time since the day I first laid my eyes on Mason.

She smiles. "Anything! You shouldn't even have to ask me that." She jokes and releases a short chuckle.

"I'm moving on from Mason like you said..." I pause uncertain how to say this next part without the possibility of starting a fight with her. "But why?"

"I'm sorry?" She says and raises an eyebrow with curiosity in her expression. "What do you mean, 'why'?"

My exhale should be proof enough to me that this is going to turn into an argument. "I listened to you because you're my best friend. You helped set me up with Mason. You..."

She stops me mid-sentence. "I didn't help set you up with Mason. That was Brayden! I had to deal with it. I love Brayden and he was adamant about trying to connect you two even though I was mostly against it. I didn't want to see you get hurt."

"Either way!" I say, interrupting her, knowing this might get ugly. "You've been trying for the past month to get me to stay away from Mason. After he took my virginity. After I hung out with him. After I helped him. After he helped me. At the party last weekend. Then he wanted to hang out with me on Monday..."
"Because he's getting laid, Madison!" She argues, her tone growing louder and angrier. "You are my best friend and I refuse to let you get hurt. The guy doesn't do relationships and now I sound like a broken record, but you're lucky he even messaged you on Monday. He's probably slept with Karen Myers, and she is a female version of him. I don't want to know what they gave each other."