Modern Family:The life in a crazy family

Diamond in the Rough

"Who are you talking to?" Sophie asked

"It looks like you lost your tour. Or your mind" Jay commented

"The baby. Shorty's girlfriend, Darlene, sent it to me. She said it's for prenatal bonding. I love it. We took a tour of the house. We took a look at all my shoes" Gloria explained

"Come on, Jay. Say something to the baby" Gloria said handing him the microphone

"Darlene's an idiot" Jay said

"Well, aren't those the perfect first words?" Sophie replied sarcastically

"Oh, yeah, beautiful. Your first words to our baby: "Darlene is an idiot." Gloria added

"This is stupid. The baby's only two inches away. He doesn't need speakers blasting at him" Jay tried to argue

"Like in restaurants nowadays, where you can't even hear yourself think" Gloria replied

"Ah, you're gonna do whatever you want. Why do I bother?" Jay said and went back to his paper

"I think it's an interesting approach to the baby, Gloria" Sophie told her

"Ay thank you Sophie, was that too hard?" Gloria changed tone from sweet to mad

"I think by interesting she means useless" Jay said not looking up from the paper

"I hope you won't be like that when you become old" Gloria told the baby as she walked away, and that made Jay look up and Sophie look down trying to hide her smile

Later, 3 hours passed by and Sophie only managed to look through 4 boxes. She was now in the living room looking through the fifth one when Gloria started singing to the baby and not in a pleasant way, at all.

"Hush, little baby Don't say a word Papa's going to buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won't sing Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring" Gloria basically yelled

Interview

" Papa'd buy 10 diamond rings to get that mockingbird to shut the hell up. But I wasn't gonna tell Gloria she was a terrible singer. That's just taking a bath with a toaster. Still, the thought of that poor little thing stuck in there like a hostage, listening to that racket days on end. I just couldn't take it" Jay said looking at the camera

End interview

"And if that billy goat won't push Papa's gonna kill the billy goat" Gloria kept yelling

"I'll tell you what Papa's gonna do. He's gonna take a turn on that mike" Jay said taking the microphone from Gloria

"Ay, really?" Gloria asked happily

"Yeah"

"Thank God" Sophie sighed in relief as Gloria frowned but Jay quickly took her attention back

"I've been thinking, if it's a chance to bond, I should take it" Jay added at his last sentence

"Ay, Jay, that's great. I think that the sound of my voice... shouldn't be the only thing that the baby should hear" Gloria told him

"If he can still hear" Sophie muttered while Jay took a moment to think about what Sophie said but scrolled it off and took the mike from Gloria.

"Breaker, breaker, Big Jay. Baby, what's your 20? Over" Jay spoke on the microphone

"Ay, that's so cute. You sound like Smokey and the Bandido. Go on. Go on"

"Hi, kid. This is your dad, Jay Pritchett. Uh, we're all pretty excited to meet you. Just a heads-up I might be a few years older than you're expecting. But on the plus side, we're very comfortable" Jay said and then Gloria tried to take back the mike