RESILIENCE

Chapter 27

I jumped into a quick, but oh so deserving hot shower and watched as the remnants of the crazy stressful day went down the drain. I didn't grasp the extent of the impact it had on me earlier, but I'm glad the day is over and I'm more than happy to be done with the hospital.

After finding the father of my kids, it feels like I can finally be the new best version of myself. Like a weight had finally been lifted after holding me back for so many years mentally and emotionally.

I never really understood the impact of not knowing who their dad was, actually had on me. In the back of my head, it always boiled down to, 'what if they asked me about him'. Luckily that's stress is over now.

After drying off, I wrapped my body in a fluffy towel and exited my on-suite bathroom into my bedroom.

I decided to get dressed in a little black dress with long sleeves, pantyhose underneath to keep warm and ending it off with a pair of black knee-high boots with a long beige coat to break the all black colored outfit. The coat must wait till I dry my hair though.

A knock could be heard as I was putting on my gold jewelry

"Come in" I said.

"Danny, do you have a minute before you leave?" my mother asked from the doorway with sadness and worry visible in her eyes.

Mom is a tough woman but will kill for her family. So, I wonder what's bothering her.

"Hey mom, sure" I said, as I made my way over to my bed and patted the spot next to me as I rubbed my hair dry with the towel it was wrapped in.
"You know we love you right?" she asked.

"Yeah, mom and I love you too. What's wrong?" I asked.

"I feel so sad knowing you lost your job and I just wanted to make sure you are not beating yourself up over it. I mean, you worked so hard to be respected in the medical industry and helped so many over the years. I just hope this doesn't affect you...hmm... like..."

I knew what my mom meant. She was scared that what happened today, or these last few days would impact my mental health and that I would become the person I was for years. I have to assure her that I'm fine.

Before my mother could finish her sentence, I put my hand on hers and looked her straight in the eyes to give her some assurance "Mother, oh my beautiful Mother, I am doing well, actually she did me a favor by ending the contract for me with the hospital" I said, making mom scrunch her face up in confusion.

"You know, I thought that I had to have a job in order to prove to others that I made it in life regardless of my past of being a teen mom. You are aware that the reason for my traveling was because I wanted to build my knowledge and expertise in the shortest timeframe to become what and who I am today, but most of all to also to provide for the boys so that they don't lack in anything?" I question and she nods.

"Well, the more I spent away from the boys and my family, I started to develop a deep regret for taking on so much even though it was only for 6 months. I was beating myself up internally for missing out on important things or every time Chase, Daniel or Rafael took them to practice, or you and dad took them places after school. I missed out on so much and they won't stay small forever. One day I will open my eyes and they will be all grown up with their own lives and they will resent me for not being there when they needed me the most" I said, as I smiled looking at my mother's wet cheeks.

I wiped the tears from underneath her eyes. This is the strongest woman I know, but she's a softy when it comes to her loved one's. She loves all of us so much that she would give her all to make sure we were happy.

"If that means we will see more of you, then I am very happy" she smiled "you know you don't have to work at all. We could go on shopping sprees even though I know you are not a material person, but now we can spend more time with you since your back and it seems for good"