Chapter 20

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The talk with Matteo went better than I expected, and I internally feel that some weight that I've been carrying around with me for all these years has been lifted, in a sense.

The self-inflicted guilt and shame associated with not knowing who their father was, was way worse than the effects it had when my father's family berated and shamed me for becoming a teenage mother.

I thought he was going to go off on me or try to fight me for custody, well he might still, but he's not aware who he would be messing with.

The conversation did, however, give me a sense of relief to know that I would be able to fulfill the wishes of my boys and not just that, but the most important part is that they won't have to grow up without a father.

Matteo also seems very eager to accept them into his life, but seeing is believing. I could be wrong, but I also know I'm very good at reading behavior and from what I've picked up is that he would have liked to be in their lives sooner.

Next time we meet, I will tell him everything. He has to know so that he doesn't continue to resent me for not knowing his kids or blame me without knowing the full story. I knew the DNA results, but I couldn't just announce that I used his dad's DNA, it's unethical.

I have to sit down and inform my family before the weekend is over. I've been keeping everything from them. I will only inform the boys after I speak to Matteo.

I know they will be happy because it's not about them, it's about my sons knowing they have a real father and their happiness. They even asked me a few years back if they could help me search for him, but I wasn't mentally ready for any big changes yet.

I drove home in less than 15 minutes. I will most probably get a few speeding tickets, but that's tomorrow's worry.

Mom made sure to leave me a thousand messages reminding me to get dressed in the dress she bought and left in my room.

The dress was a white, one shoulder, long sleeved dress, that had an extra piece of removable material clipped to the side. I must say, my mother has very good taste. The only issue I do have with the dress is that it's not what I normally wear.  

This dress is an attention seeker, much to my displeasure, but to please my mother, I will wear it

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This dress is an attention seeker, much to my displeasure, but to please my mother, I will wear it. Once done getting dressed and styling my hair, I rushed out the door and headed to Vivian's apartment, to pick her up.

She lived two blocks away from the place where we were having dinner. Even though I'm a little awkward with unknown people, I mustered up the confidence to message her and start a conversation to try and make my brother happy.

I can't wait to see his face when he sees me walking in with her.

I have never seen my brother like that over any woman and I could see she must have made a huge impression on him, for him to be sulking the whole ride home.

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