Let's be honest

-33-

Loki continued laughing like he just couldn't get enough and the more he thought my words through they just became more and more hilarious.

"The Ashen maiden that defeated a god, the little Lady that stabbed me in the back!"

I rolled my eyes getting tired of just how much fun he was getting out of it, this was humiliating. Although I did appreciate his happy expression as he gasped for air in between laughs making more comments.

"Laugh all you want but I know exactly in between which ribs to stab to get to a man's heart the fastest."

I did know that mostly because I'd spent my teenage dreams collecting useless information that ranged from that to the most common fur pattern in the different genders for a specie I'd fixated on that week or month.

Loki stopped laughing looking me directly in the eyes still smiling from ear to ear. He probably didn't even know he was smiling so hard at this poiny only struggling to calm down for a few seconds.

"Oh so you aim to take my heart for yourself, little Lady? That is a very dangerous endeavour you seem to plan there darling!"

Looking up at him and opening my mouth to continue bickering, because of course I would be the one to chant defeat first, but seeing him smiling like that. Not as a smirk or mockingly but happy, comfortable and in his environment playing around and teasing.

So instead of the snapping sassy reply I had prepared, that he would most likely easily surpass and answer to I decided to only say.

"You should smile more often, you'd be more convincing that way!"

Yes the tease was basically a repeat of his own words after my ranting so what I've got good memory might as well use it.

There no way I can help it though, as I stare into his eyes it all feel a touch too real for my comfort and my smirk instinctively turns into a wide smile mirroring his. I can't help but exhale shakily like I'm trying to laugh but cannot find it in me to make a sound. My breathing gets shallower and a hear my heartbeat in my ears...

No this isn't a description of me falling in love with Loki this is my anxiety just catching up to me!

But is it really that bad?! I'm just trying to understand what it means that he's real, they're all real and right in front of me, currently my anxiety is working on peaks.

I get anxious cuz all of this is actually happening and I don't get to replay or change my choices since it's no game, dream or story. This is real with means I need to control it if I wanna feel safe but also these are the avengers. I'm in the MCU why should I worry I just befriended the god of fucking mischief if that isn't protection I don't know what is!

Wait befriended him? I did actually ask...is Loki my friend now?