Looking Through the Cracks

Chapter 2: An Inescapable Monster

"Are we there yet," B whined for what felt like the fiftieth time since their road trip began.

    "You have eyes," Ivy barked as she fleetingly glanced at their estimated arrival time. 2:35. I would have been on time if it wasn't for Mr. Nosey over here, thought Ivy. I bet there is probably a massive line already. Ivy's eyes rolled in frustration.

    "You will arrive at your destination on the right in point one miles" cheerfully droned the GPS. In the distance, Ivy could see the brick facade of the bookstore. Her heart raced like a thumping rabbit's foot with anticipation as she pulled into a parking spot. Seeing Ivy turn the car off, B gratefully crawled out of it.

    "Soooo" B drawled as he stretched out his long legs, "what are we doing here?" When he did not hear a snarky response from Ivy, he discovered she was still inside the car. Looking like a peeping tom, B walked up to the window and looked through his cupped hands. Inside the car, Ivy took deep calming breaths. You can do this. You have to do this. You'll never have this chance again. Just stay calm. Like an unwelcome visitor, a wave of negativity bombarded her thoughts. You remember what happened last time you got stressed out, right? That would be sooo embarrassing if that happened in front of John Green. In the past, Ivy could easily ignore these comments. However, as her situation grew worse, so did the monster residing in her brain. Similar to a flower thriving off sunlight, her inner demon dined on Ivy's anxiety. Fighting a seemingly unwinnable battle, Ivy tried to rein back the creature, I'm in control. I will not let it happen. With a final deep breath, confident the beast was vanquished, for now, she stepped out of the car.

    "You okay?" B furrowed his brow in genuine concern.

    "Just a little nervous, that's all. I'll be fine." Mentally repeating it over and over again, Ivy clung to her mantra like a security blanket.

    Not willing to push Ivy more, B left it at that. "So, what's so important about this Barnes and Noble? You know you can get books back home, right? Probably a lot cheaper too."

    Reaching into her back pocket, Ivy pulled out her list. Although she smiled as she looked at the unfolded paper, it was clear there was a somber quality to it. Dislodging whatever thought had briefly occupied her mind, Ivy shook her head and replaced her list back in the car's center console. "John Green is doing a meet and greet here."

    "Right. Isn't he that guy who writes chick books?" B asked, unable to identify anything else about the author.

    Ivy's head whipped in B's direction, her eyes glaring daggers at him. "Chick books?' Really? Have you ever read one of his books?"

    "I'm not a reader. I'd rather wait for the movie to come out." B shrugged indifferently.

    Ivy clutched her chest in feigned pain at B's comment, "Oh, my heart. You wound me!"

    "Let me guess. You're one of those people who's all like 'the book is so much better than the movie." He swatted his hand away like the idea was an irksome fly.

    "If you mean one of those people who actually read, then yes." Ivy crossed her arms defiantly. "Also, his books are not just for girls. He writes about stuff that anybody can resonate with." With a strong stare, Ivy challenged B to question her.

    "Okay, okay. I surrender!" said B as he pantomimed waving a flag.

    With a new wave of confidence, either from defeating B or being distracted from her anxiety, Ivy marched into the bookstore. Unfortunately, her march was cut short when she ran into an innocent bystander. She apologized distractedly as she took in the line before her. There were easily twenty people standing in a single file line. Looking to the front of it, Ivy could see a fold-out table stacked with multiple copies of John Green's novels, and framed by those books sat the beloved author himself.