Hard life

Play pretend

2018 Summer break

Verstappen's POV:

After I left Charles, I went up to my apartment to change into my running clothes and met Daniel in front of the building.

"Hi Daniel" -I said and gave him a friendly hug

"Buongiornoooo" -he said with his usual smile

We ran along the usual promenade along the beach and back. It was about 30 minutes as always. While running, we don't talk much, only very little, and it's not very serious topic. When we got back to the building I knew I should talk to Daniel about what was going on. He is like a brother to me, whom I can always rely on and will never judge me for anything.

"Do you have maybe a 10 min for me to talk?" -I asked him

"Of course! I'm free today, aaaaalll day." -he said happily

"Can we go to you? I don't really wanna go home..." -I asked and he looked a bit confused

"Sure" -he said and we started walking to his apartment- "But everything is okay, right?" -he asked and his face was serious

"I- We will talk at yours..." -I said stammering a bit and he nodded

We walked the rest of the way in silence. I was already thinking about how to tell him. I rarely talk about my problems and it's difficult, so I started to get scared. We got to the building and went up the stairs. Marcus came down the stairs. I was not happy because we are not that good. They have known each other for much longer than us and I feel tense around him because I am also much younger.

"Hey guys! Dan, I tried to reach you but I couldn't. We were suppose to have breakfast together" -Marcus said and Daniel hesitated for a sec

"You can go, it's not that important..." -I said and looked at Daniel

"Nonono! We're talking! Go up, I'll be there in a minute" -he said and I nodded and went up

I went upstairs, entered the apartment and sat down in the living room. After about 5 minutes, Daniel came in.

"Sorry, I completely forgot about Marcus, but I'll make up for it later." -he said and sat next to me- "I'm listening" -he said

I didn't want to run in unnecessary circles on the subject, so I told him directly.

"I like Charles and he likes me too, we've been having sex after every race in his driver's room for a year now and no one knows about it, but before yesterday something happened to him and I went over to help and it ended up that we decided to start dating, and all of yesterday we were together, I slept with him for 2 nights, I felt very good with him but I'm afraid of the situation because we're both men and I don't even understand why I like him but I don't want to hurt him and I feel awful because I'll never be able to come out with him" -I told him with one breath and I saw his smiling face- "Why the fuck are you smiling?" -I asked angryly

"I knew so much that you were together! You've been acting strange lately, but I'm so glad you told me" -he said still smiling

"What do you think I should do? I'm too selfish to let him go but this way I will only hurt him..." -I said and tears started to form in my eyes

Daniel saw it and hugged me.

"Everything will be okay Max. Nothing's wrong with you. It's not a problem that both of you are men. You are allowed to love anyone." -he said while I wrapped my arms around him

"Even if I could accept myself, the world wouldn't, my dad wouldn't. Neither will the FIA. Charles is braver than me and sooner or later he will bring up the topic and I will only hurt him with my answers because I am not able to open up" -I said and now I was crying heavily