TOUCH II

Nineteenth Chapter

What Jordan didn't know about mental breakdowns, was how they didn't represent a single emotion. It was a point in your body where equilibrium is breached and can no longer be controlled. It's like your emotions go haywire.

Now, she's never experienced this, because she's never allowed herself to feel.

So when she got to Bridgett's house, comforted by the aura of both the woman and her residence, she became an emotional mess.

First she laughed at how ridiculous she thought she was being, then she cried because she thought Bridgett wouldn't understand, then she yelled and screamed about everything that made her angry from the day she was born to now, then she cried again at how overwhelmed her body was from feeling so many things at once. There was a bit more crying because of past events, and present events, and fear of future events.

In one word, Jordan became vulnerable. She became naked for Bridgett to look at and judge.

She told her everything. From her horrible birth mother, to her amazing stepmother, whom she felt she didn't deserve. She spoke about her past lovers more intricately, and how both had an impact on her emotional growth. She spoke of her sister, and how losing her is affecting her now. How she's terrified of Tate's safety. She told her about Ian, how she could be losing him forever because he was choosing to become someone else.

She spoke about her father and her siblings. How she wishes she had a better relationship with them. She told her about how she despised school and work these days, yet she wanted nothing more than to be a doctor. She even admitted that her father played a role in this dream. Medicine had been such a huge part of her life, and it interested her even though she pretended not to be interested. The stories he would tell to Lisa, that Jordan would pretend not to pay attention to, intrigued her. She was amazed by the miracles a doctors hands could create. The lives they would mend.

What made her feel good was that, throughout this ranting, and crying and screaming, and psychotic laughing, Bridgett listened and she comforted. She hugged her at the right time, took her hand at the right time, nodded at the right words, gave just the right look for Jordan to feel welcome enough to keep going.

It all ended with Jordan falling asleep, her head on Bridgett's lap as the woman ran her fingertips down the back of her ear to her neck. She fell asleep because she was tired. Not that she would've slept at home. Her thoughts would've kept her up. But with Bridgett they all went away.

She didn't know how long she slept, but when she awoke, she was still in the position she slept in, her head on Bridgett's lap, with the woman's hands caressing her face.

When her eyes open, they met with the spruce ones of Bridgett's, as the woman looked down at her with a look of admiration and infatuation.

She smiled upon seeing Jordan's eyes open, her cheeks turning red as she turned to look up at the television in front of her, removing her hands from Jordan's face and putting them beside her body.

With confidence, Jordan takes the hands and places them back on her face.

"Don't stop." she tells the woman that looked down at her questioningly at the act.

So she does as commanded, and resumes caressing Jordan's face, except this time, they stare into each other's eyes, adding a romance to the gesture.

The feeling was foreign to Jordan. She's never quite felt so dependant before. She's never felt so safe.

Her heart belonged to Bridgett while she didn't even intend on giving it to her. Atleast not until she was absolute that the feeling was requited.

But as she stared into spruce eyes, with fingers that ran though her face, making her body tingle and her eyebrows furrow in content, she knew she was doomed. She felt that there was a mutualism to the feeling. Or maybe she was being delusional.