Feel Nothing ~ Ch11

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(Y/n)'s Point Of View

Panic ran thicker through my veins than my own blood. Being scared for myself was one thing but being scared for every worker in Sukuna's temple took a toll on me more than any labour that's ever been forced upon me. I didn't know what to do, and I no longer had my mother to consol about any of it. Currently, I was just over six miles away from the temple, panicking in the middle of feild. At least out here, nobody would feel a thing.

Now that my cuffs have been destroyed, I'd have to go upon my everyday life while worrying about what it was that I was feeling. I'd have to worry about whether or not I got hurt because even a simple paper cut could end someone's life. If I was suddenly scared, I could give someone a heart attack. And then all that worry about not feeling any emotions itself then was an emotion. As I would try to keep my head down and out of trouble, everyone in Sukuna's temple would feel my dread and apprehension.

The only thing I was rest assured about was the fact that my cuffs were now off meant that I had access to all my jujustu. If I get hurt or begin to feel any kind of emotion that could cause someone distress, I can simply warp away- unless of course I was beside Lord Sukuna. I doubted he'd take lightly the disrespect of warping away from him midconversation.

Now that my cuffs were off, I felt very vulnerable. All my emotions were now out in the open and everybody would know what I'm feeling at all times.
"I don't know what to do, mother. They'll all feel what I feel. Is there no way around this?" I asked the sky before kneeling down and groaning loudly into my palms. Was there really nothing I could do?

"So this is where you've been hiding for the past hour?" A voice mused from behind me, making me squeal in suprise and topple over onto the grass. I looked up at the new visitor, my eyes widening when I set upon a pair of red ones.
"You seem to frighten easy. I'll have to keep that in mind." Lord Sukuna said through gritted teeth, his hand reaching towards his chest to clench his kimono. Wait...does my technique effect him too? Surely not.

"My L-Lord..." I stuttered out with a nervous gulp, bowing my head to him. I miss when my face was stoic and nobody could tell how nervous I was when Lord Sukuna before me. He looked at me with amusement, tiring his head as he watched me curiously.
"When Uraume stopped quivering with fear, I had a feeling you'd left the temple." He sighed.

"Usually, I wouldn't care if you'd decided on running away or whatnot. But I must admit, you've become far more interesting to me after finding out that you're a (L/n)- and a powerful one at that." Sukuna hummed, making me lift my head to look him in the eyes.
"You think I'm powerful." I asked.
"After hearing what you've done to Uraume this morning and then seeing it before my own very eyes...yes, I'd say you're the strongest (L/n) I've come across." Sukuna grinned, knowing that paired with that explaintion that it was hard to take it as a compliment.

"But honestly, I did not expect you to know how to warp. That's a rare and incredibly difficult technique. That paired with that reversed cursed technique of yours. It's a suprise that commoner like you would know how to do any of that." Sukuna said, motioning to my healed neck that only an hour ago had bruises in the shape of his fingerprints.

"My mother and I translate forbidden jujustu for you on a daily basis...does it suprise you that we retain what we read?" I asked him softly, making him raise a brow as if he'd expected a more tamed response from me.
"Hm, I suppose that would make sense." Sukuna admitted as he took a step closer, "But that would mean that you mother was also quite powerful, was she not?"

"She was." I confirmed, beaming with pride on my mother's behalf.
"And yet she was killed by a lowly cursed spirit." Sukuna grinned, lowering himself to my height. I gulped, biting the inside of my cheek as the memory swirled through my mind as if he'd opened a fresh wound- and he had.
"Did she not have the time to take off the cuffs or did she fight and lose her battle?" Sukuna snickered evilly, understanding that I felt grief while speaking on the subject.

"She threw away the key to her shackles...she said that one day I'd make the same desicion. But that desicion had to be mine." I told the man, lowering my eyes with greif.
"And instead I incinerated both the cuffs and their key. So, in the end, that desicion was mine." Sukuna grinned maliciously.
"Correct, my Lord." I replied softly. Sukuna scoffed with amusement before standing to his feet.

"Now that you've taken your exceptionally long lunch break, I think I'd like you to get back to work now." Sukuna told me, "And starting from now, you are not to disobey a single of my rules or you'll be punished...well, I suppose that means everyone will be punished, won't it?" His eyes glittered with sadism, clear that he took enjoyment from the panic in my own.

"B-but my Lord-" My objections were cut off immediately by his raised brow.
"Are you about to disobey a direct command?" Sukuna asked me with bored eyes, making me shake my head immediately.
"No, my lord." I whispered, my time quiet and defeated.
"Then off you go." Sukuna shooed, flickering his wrist in a 'get out of my sight' motion.

I exhaled shakingky before warping back to the scroll room. I took multiple deep breaths to evade the rising panic.
"Feel. Nothing. Feel. Nothing." I whispered to myself over and over again, knowing that it wasn't helping. I walked around the scroll room in circles as I took deep breaths. It was then that I remembered something my mother once told me.

She always said that if I ever found myself without those shackles, then in order not to share my burden with others I must either fall asleep or keep myself so occupied and distracted that I do not have the time to feel anything. So with that in mind, I began cleaning the corridors from the ink that spilled earlier. With every wipe of the mop- with every wipe of my rag- with every stroke of my brush, I counted. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

(A.N ~ I've got an exhibition today! My work is getting exhibited and sold in a gallery! Isn't that awesome!)

Chapter 12 Quote Teaser :

"Oh, did that offend you? Calling your mother stupid?"

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