8: Sseschni

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I feel I am going mad. What do they want from me? If they plan to eat me, I almost wish they would do so, and put an end to this tedium.

I try to divine my future in the arbitrary numbers thrown my way: Do the eighteen bars between me and the fire show me eighteen months of captivity? Do six lumps of frozen meat forecast six years in this frozen land? I have counted every grain of every strip of wood, in case these signify the days.

The fire is hypnotic. I see my mother and clutch-brother in the ever-flickering flames, though they might have been dreams.

My last memory of them is confused. Sweet-smelling smoke was filling our aerie. My brother was sneezing. My mother— I couldn't see her, but she was shrieking. I heard her wings. I felt water on my scales, but perhaps it was just cold. Then darkness. Then silence.

The silence is what scares me most.

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