ARRANGED TO MR IAS (SEASON-3)

CHAPTER-18

Author's POV (Continued from last part)

"I was only 14 when all this started.. My ninth grade's result were out that day.. I got 82 percent, the lowest I ever got in academics.." She said..

She was smiling but the tears were falling at the same time.. She never thought the day will come when she relive her pain all over again..

"My parents, specially my dad.. I never wanted to disappoint him.. After they saw the result they were disappointed.. My dad warned me to maintain my grades otherwise he will not think twice before stopping my education..
I cried the whole day.. No one came to ask me.. Naysa was also told to stay away from me.."

She is crying mess now.. She felt like her heart was squeezed out.. If it pained this much just while sharing, how much it would have hurt when she was experiencing this..

Vihaan held her by her shoulder and tried to calm down her whimpers.. She continued while bawling her eyes out..

"My tenth grade.. I was left out, because I have badge.. The power to use it against anyone.. I  still remember that guy.. I never realized when things went wrong.. I tried to tell mumma and papa.. But they never gave importance.. All they wanted was good grades.."

"I got 93.5 percent in my tenth standard.. But still no one celebrated it.. I got the top 10 rank in my school.. But my parents were still not happy.. You know why.. Cause I got 85 out of 100 in maths.. I could have done better.. According to them.."

She maintained her posture and wiped her tears to focus again.. He looked at her.. Tears made his way to his eyes.. 

"The day when I got my first panic attack.. It was maths paper.. For the first an half all I did was to cry and tried to control my hand cause it was shaking.. I was not even able to hold my pen.. I prepared for the exam the whole year.. I wanted to prove my parents, show them how much I can get.. But it all went in vain.."

"You know after the results came out, the didn't talked me for 2 months.. My dad didn't even wished me birthday. All because of my numbers.."

"I never took these signs earlier.. We came in class 11th.. Ericka and Tanisha had took Science stream, meanwhile I chose to be in Humanities.. I never liked that subject, but initially it was important for my future so I fought my parents so I can opt for it.."

"You asked me in the interview, why I chose to be an IAS Officer when I already had a job as a government school teacher.."

"The reason I told you was to serve my nation.. But you know my real reason.. To prove my parents.. To show them I can live up to my expectations.."

"During collage time, I started getting anger issues.. Everyone around me started to irritate me.. During that time I contacted Raima.. And not on my own.. On the advice of my some old classmate who jokingly told me to visit a counsellor.."

"The reason I didn't wanted to marry you was this.. I was scared to disappoint someone and then proving them all over again.. Yes I did loved you as an idol, but trust me I never ever wanted you to fall in love with a mad person like me.."

"I tried to kill myself before our wedding and even before my school and collage graduation.. But got saved everytime.. Maa and papa never got to know about this.. They thought I got overdosed on sleeping pills before wedding before I was not able to sleep before my wedding due to excitement.."

"They never knew I started taking them in collage.. I never told them.. I always felt scared to share with them.. The reason I have multiple scars on my wrist is because I tried to calm my senses down by hurting me.."

"You are capable of nothing.. We don't care if you live or not.. These lines still haunts me.. Whenever I saw my answer sheets, I never saw my marks.. The first thing which came to my head was the face of my parents.. How would they react..?"

She looked at him with tears in her eyes..

"Please.. I don't want your life or Ivaan's life to be bounded with me.. Divorce me and..."

Before Shreenika could say anything further, Vihaan pulled him in a hug.. Tears felt from both of their eyes..

"I can do anything, but not this.. I love you.. Please give me a chance to heal you.. Please baby.." he wiped her tears..

She cupped his face "I am too broken to be heal.. Find someone other than me.. You deserve the best, and I am the worst.."

"If you are the worst, then I don't know what could be better.." He said and pulled her down on the bed..

He held her in the arms and caressed her back to calm down her senses.. He pecked her forehead and looked at her..

"I promised you.. I will support you in every step.. How can I break my promise Mrs. Chaudhry..? I didn't took those pheras for fun.." He said and a small smile appeared on her face..

"Go wherever you want to go, I will never stop you.. But trust me, I will do something to myself if you ever told me to leave you.." 

"Stop proving yourself.. You are human not a theorem.. "

The night when every past of Shreenika came to her present.. The night when she finally let everything out.. It was definitely a new start of their beginning and they knew they were going for the best from now onwards..

Few months later.. 

The night passed and brought bright sunrise for the couple.. Shreenika didn't cancelled her transfer as her husband believed that she needed to find herself before anything..

Ivaan lived in Delhi with his dad, meanwhile she stayed in Chandigarh.. They payed her visit every month..

Her condition started to improve a little by little.. The Shreenika Vihaan felt in love with was coming back.. The cheerful smile when they talked and those blushy cheeks when he tried to flirt with her..

It is rightly said that relationships should not be judged on the basis on age.. It is just a number in the end..

No one ever knew if her childhood idol who will become the reason of her breathe years later..
She always loved him, but never accepted it..

She thanked her stars for accepting his proposal and believing in herself for the last time..

He fell first, but she fell harder..

The End....