Love you, Hate you

Distance makes heart grow fonder

Sitting comfortably against the window seat, Kongpob gazes at the full moon shining in the night sky, drunk on smugness as thousands and thousands of stars twinkles through the opened glass window screen. He has always been fascinated with the moon. It always appeared so white, so pure, calm and serene, immensely beautiful yet....lonely. An air of unending sadness and yearning surrounding it. He has talked to the round thing numerous times. Moon has been a constant spectator of his life. A witness of all highs and lows Kongpob has hidden from everyone.... from P'Arthit. Like right now. When his mother is busy cooking dinner, he is here, in the silence of his room, staring at the huge ball of light, seeking for the same peace. However, unlike other times, the noise inside him is not dissipating. Instead, only sound he could hear is of his crumbling heart and crushed feelings. Feelings.. he was not even aware of, still is. His gut churns, as Arthit's words from their last encounter echoes in his ears. He, still, can hear the loath and disgust in elder's announcement.

Pulling his legs up to the chest, Kongpob wraps his arms around the folded knees, hiding his face in those walls. Sniveling and sobbing. Tears coursing through high cheeks, his lips wobbly, as he lifts his head a bit, side glancing at the papers laid beside him.

More than two weeks has passed since Arthit has left him in that guest house. The actor flew back to Thailand that very day. Without telling anyone. Whole cast and crew members bombarded his phone, asking whereabouts of the actor. Kongpob has never been that frightened in his whole life. He spent the whole day and night, running streets after streets like a crazy manaic, looking for the actor. His directionless and destination less search came to an end after he got an abrupt call from Prae, who told him about Arthit's safe arrival in their home country. She also straight foward informed him how he doesn't need to come by office as the actor has decided to hire a new PA for himself. Later on, he received a mail from HR department, where he was promised to be compensated for being fired without any prior notice. Kongpob would not had been able to come back had Mille not helped him in booking a ticket. Having no where left to go, he came to his mother's house and has been staying here since then. He has not told his mother anything. Somehow managing to avoid the whole confrontation and conversation this whole time. However, after today he is not sure if he can keep lying through his teeth. He can hide his marriage life issues from his mother but not this. The younger one picks up the paper, eyeing the blue ink scattered at the end of page, under the heading of applicant, his husband's initials mocking him.

"Divorce?? How can P'Arthit do this??"

Kongpob sniffles, wiping his tears. He has merely gotten aware of the momentum of unnamed emotions he carry for the elder and now this? He has called and texted multiple times but the other person never picked up or replied. He also visited his penthouse, hoping he could get to see the actor but was refused again and again by the security.

Fresh tears filled his eyes, realising that he would never get a chance to explain himself to the actor or redeem whatever wrong he had done unintentionally to the elder or tell the other what is transpiring inside him. How past 10 days had been pure hell for him? How he is longing to see those affectioned filled hazel eyes fixed at him. How much power those orbs hold over him? How much....Kongpob throws his head back, his face lifting up towards the moon. The tears shining over the cheeks resembling pearls....is this the end?? For us??...

Door to the room pushed open, making a bursting noise, alerting the younger one of his mother's arrival. Hastily wiping off his wer cheeks, he hides the divorce papers beneath the cushions. Getting up to his feet, he takes a long deep breath, forcing a smile over his mouth and hurries towards the entrance only to go stock still. Blinking again and again. Confident that his eyes are playing tricks or howcome his ex employer who abhorres him from core of his heart would be standing here, inside his bedroom? He drinks in the sight of the most saddest yet beautiful illusion supplied by his brain.