Love you, Hate you

One step forward two steps back

Arthit stills. He has not seen it coming. He looks straight in the brown orbs, seeking his reply. Does he? Does he love Kongpob? Three years back, the answer would had already been out of his lips. He had been insanely in love with his young master. Even though he knew that it was futile to have unrequited feelings for the younger one, Arthit can not not love the guy. It was impossible for him to separate himself from those emotions and ages old attachments. He was content just watching the other from afar....hah!! Life surely has a fucked up way to say to never say never.. Years have passed and now he is not sure what should be the right answer. His brain and heart are at war. Logical part of him is berating his emotional self for acting like a fool and still loving the person who has brought his life to the doorstep of doom. His mind is drawing blank while his heart is screaming at its loudest. Shrieking a yes from the depths. But words are not coming up to his lips.

"I

Ringggggg!!!!!

The sound of incoming call breaks the gazing contest, making the duo sprang away from each other. Kongpob turns his back to the actor, nearing to his bed while the elder picks up the call. Both flushed from head to toe.

Receiving the green telephone image flashing over the screen, Arthit places the phone against his ear.

"He hey Mom!", Arthit tries to sound cheerful only for his heart to pummel to the Earth hearing the sniffles on other side.

"Mom? What happened? Why are you crying? Everything okay?", Arthit asked, concerned and taken aback hearing his strong willed mother sobbing over the line.

Kongpob quickly comes beside the actor hearing the talk. Touching the forearm of later, he mouths, "What's wrong" getting only an agitated look.

A silent prevails before the actor hears from another side. This time the voice completly different from his mother.

"Arthit, it's its your father. He He is not well", a  female, broken voice; which doesn't belongs to his mother, filters over the connection. Though the voice is shaky and troubled, it is more lucid and controlled than his mother's. Ages of firmness visible in them. Telling that it's his grandmother,  Ressy Rojanapat.

"Grandma! You there?", Arthit pulls away from the comforting touch of his assistant forcibly, his grip on the cellphone tightening. All his walls building and rising up to the highest. Everything which has taken place in his life, rushing up to him with a violent roar. He can see how face of his assistant falls from corner of his eyes but cannot find in him to palecate the other. The rage and anger, loathing he has well hidden under the hundreds of layers warring to come out.

Kongpob feels getting slapped in the face with the rejection. His heart pummels down to the core. An unknown ache spreads through him as he watches his boss pacing around, his phone glued to ear as he asks questions after questions. An invisible wall erecting between him and the actor. Not having any other option, he remains root spotted to the same place, wriggling his hands, trying to catch the meaning of the convo happening over the cellphone. With each passing second, his boss's face hardens more and more, as he clenches and unclenches fist of free hand, lying to the side.

"Okay Grandma, I'll be there in no time", Arthit cuts off the call, storming out of the room. His brain already jumping bars. His fingers urgently tapping over the phone screen, busy placing calls. His steps halting as his assistant appears before him with questioning eyes. Those brown eyes which were, minutes ago, an ocean he wanted to drown himself in at the moment they are nothing but an abyss full of monsters awaiting to devour him.

Kongpob feels like someone just sucker punched him with how hard he is finding it to breath. The empty, cold eyes of his boss, the shrewding look in them, making the younger one feel like a worthless piece of garbage. Those eyes which were glowing with love for him is now flooded with storms and darkness. Only emotion he can detect in them is despise.