Confessions

XXXVIII

Beyoncé POV

I quickly followed Halle to my newly finished in home studio so we could talk about what exactly i just seen

"You know this 'i don't give a fuck attitude' is really about to start pissing me off!" I said watching her fidget with all the little buttons and gears on the sound board making little beats

"I do care! Laughing and avoidance is just my body's natural reaction in situations like these. I can't help it" Halle said genuinely as she made tested random beats out

It was really hard for Halle to be vulnerable for some reason

When she cried or anything, you can tell she's mentally punching herself because of it. She held a lot of her emotions in or just flat out denied them, hence why she was so level headed in most situations whereas someone like Chloe would instantly react

She didn't allow herself to explode or get aggressive with anyone. She maintained self control so well to the point that it's almost scary to think about what would happen when she can't hold it in anymore

"What were you thinking Halle?! You're smart enough to know how important safe sex is" I told her and she remained silent

I noticed she had stopped fidgeting and she had her head held down low in embarrassment. I sat down next to her rubbing her back because i knew this was a stressful situation

"Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?" She asked me and i shook my head no

I've only ever had two boyfriends in my lifetime, Lamelo and Shawn. My flower meant the world to me so i made it my mission to wait until marriage and that's exactly what i did.

Any time we had sex, we knew there would be a possibility that we may possibly be adding on to our family so there was never truly any scares

"Neither have I" she admitted giggling a little and i knew there was definitely something wrong mentally with her for this type of behavior

"Halle..." i said and she resumed fidgeting with buttons not looking at me

"You know there hasn't been one moment where i felt i was in control of my own life. People like to say if you do good, then good things will come to you but that's a fucking lie" She said laughing shaking her head

"I made straight A's from kindergarten to 11th grade, SGA class president my entire high school career. I was captain of the cheer team and i fucking hated cheering! I tried so hard to do good and all i got in return was homelessness and a dead mom..." she vented

"When i was 11, my first day of 6th grade i met this 8th grader named Joy. She made straight A's, at the top of her class and was involved in damn near every sport she could and everyone loved her. I don't know what it was but she intrigued me, so of course i befriended her" she told me

"she basically took me under her wing. she taught me all her tips on maintaining good grades, helped me develop relationships with all the teachers and good shit like that but she also taught me why everyone loves her. Code X" she laughed a little scratching her head

"Code X?" I asked confused not really understanding what she was referring too

"Yeah, like X marks the spot. You may not know where the X is but you better believe someone else does and when you find them, you work them just enough to the point where you don't even have to find the X for yourself" Halle explained and yet i was still confused

"So what I'm hearing is you're having unprotected sex with random boys for money?!" I asked trying to stay leveled but i was very upset in this moment

"They aren't random, you guys just don't pay attention to what's around you" Halle said finally looking up at me

"You remember Q right?" She asked me and i nodded

"your almost baby daddy, what about him?" I said not forgetting that she snuck out of my house in the middle of the night

"Well his mom was the judge in our case yesterday..." Halle smirked at me evilly dusting her legs off

"From the moment the case was presented I began plotting" she told me laughing as if this was all done game she was winning

"a couple tears and fake weird cravings, and i had him right where i wanted him..nobody wants their potential baby mama taken away from them. I made sure that wouldn't happen" she said finishing her kool aid pickle giggling

For months I've been confused, wondering why the girls were so scared of Halle. Why they all tiptoed around her, or did wanna stand up to her but now i knew why... this motherfucker is crazy!

"Wow... so this whole time, the crying and sickness was just you faking?" I asked and she nodded, i didn't even know how to feel

I notice she had burst into tears catching me of guard.

"I taught myself how to cry on command, when we met lovie. For a while after our mom died, it was hard to find food for all three of us so i would go out and find older men who were easy to manipulate and cry to them about my problems so they could pay for our lifestyle" Halle cried on my shoulder

If i didn't know what she was saying to me I'd feel bad about my babygirl crying

"Chloe loves clothes and Lovie loves shoes , that stuff isn't cheap but i bet you they had everything they wanted. I'd do anything for those girls in there so if they tell me that they wanna stay here with you and Shawn, I'm gonna make that shit happen one way or another. If that means fucking the judges son then so be it" Halle said wiping her eyes returning to serious

"You don't have to take care of them anymore Halle, that's our job. That's why we're here, to make you and your sisters lives easier." I told her not liking the way she was talking

She had been making so much progress here, i thought she had finally realized that she had help but hearing this just let me know that she still felt she had to do everything on her own

It felt as if we were taking 10 steps back and i didn't understand what i was doing wrong

"Yeah i get that but what happens when you can't? When things become out of your control and you aren't able to support all three of us?" She asked me

"Then you'll have Shawn and Solo, hell even Lydia! You don't ever have to worry about not having anyone here for you three ever again Halle. You're mother has been working so hard to make sure of that" i said not even realizing the words that were coming out of my mouth

I cursed myself the moment i seen her eyebrows raise at my statement. I knew she heard exactly what i said so there was no way i could take it back

God Kiyana is gonna murder me herself

-

Chapter 38!!! Big mouth Bey in full effect

How do we feel about what Halle did? What advice would you give her?

How do you think Halle is gonna react to what Bey said?

Are you ready for the drama? 👀