Confessions

XXXVI

Beyoncé POV

"B I'm scared.." i heard Halle whispered as we all waited for the judges official ruling during the recess

" don't be baby girl, everything is fine." I held all my girls closely hugging them tightly.

Blue and lovie were a mess because they didn't wanna be separated from their sisters, Chloe and Halle were terrified they would be sent away and it felt terrible watching them go through this

Worst part about it is.... Lamelo nor Mrs Meeka even cared to check on the girls to see if they were ok.

I felt Chloe leave my hold and went over to hug Shawn who had just been watching me hold the girls. I smiled watching how protective he became over chloe as soon as she clung onto him

"You know I joke a lot and say crazy things to you girls all the time but i want you guys to know that i love all of you..." Shawn told them and i knew he really meant it

As much as he complained about not having a son and being out numbered, he absolutely loved being a girl dad, spoiling his girls.

"Even me?" Lovie asked quietly almost as if she was hoping he'd say yes

"Especially you, my little walking medical bill" Shawn said and she smiled brightly hugging me tighter

"I love you too ugly" Lovie clearly not letting him get away with his slick insult towards her

It warmed my heart seeing how far we've come past the entire break in situation. It's only been a few months, but These girls have already snatched a piece my heart. They were really my baby girls, god sent them to me for a reason no matter what the circumstances were.

I noticed Solo and my mother who i hadn't seen since Lovie came home from the hospital leisurely walking over to us like we were cool

"Pooka pooka!" Solo said happily and lovie just said fuck me and immediately held her arms out for solo to help her up to her feet

Love was making real progress despite her diagnosis, though she wasn't able to walk yet she could now stand without assistance.

While they had their little moment i just stared at my mother wondering what she'd had to say for herself after not talking to her daughter and granddaughter for months

I didn't understand why she was acting the way she was...

"Bey can we talk?" My mom asked and i nodded tapping the girl's off me so i could talk to my mother.

I could tell that Halle didn't wanna let go because of how scared she was but she let go looking away like she was fine but leg hadn't stopped bouncing

"Calm down lady bug... I'll be back in 10 minutes, everything's gonna be ok" i assured her giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing with my mom to the woman's restroom

I crossed my arms staring at my mothers gaze, i was obviously pissed off with her behavior but i wouldn't lie and say i didn't miss my mom... i mean she is literally the woman who birthed me!

"I know i don't have long to speak before you have to go and tend back to the kids but first I'd like to apologize for my actions. I should have never said the things I've said or treated you or those girls as poorly as i did. It's very unlike me and i take full responsibility" my mom spoke kind shocking me a little because my mom rarely apologized

She was old school... since she was the mama, she was always right no matter how wrong she actually is. It was rare to see her apologize especially to her children

"On that note... i have to be honest, i think your making a mistake right now" she said and just like that all my happy emotions turned back into anger

" what?! Please tell me you're joking.." i said hoping i didn't hear her correctly

"I think you should seriously consider just letting the girls go to their rightful family, i just don't believe it's right to keep those girls away from them when you see how bad they want the girls " my mother said to me with full seriousness

I had half the mind to tell her to shut her old ass up because she didn't know what the hell she was talking about but i actually liked my life so i chose to bite my tongue

"You do understand that the family you're referring to is the man who raped not only their mother and impregnated her when she was 17 but your youngest daughter aswell when she was 13!" I broke it down for her slowly so she understood how ignorant she sounded

"He's a rapist... a child rapist specifically, who has multiple accusations against him. No disrespect but i will pull every strand of hair out the top of my head one by one before i ever willingly give that monster custody of two 16 year old little girls" i told her deadass serious

I could tell she had more to say but personally i was over anything she had to say to me pertaining my girls.

"Look mama i accept your apology but i don't needed your help telling me what to do with my children." I told her.

Realizing what i had just said, i noticed her staring at me like i was insane. I knew i wasn't gonna take it back as soon as i said it, for some reason it just came out so naturally

"Those girls are not your real children Beyoncé, see that's your problem right there" she said passively making me wonder exactly what she meant by that

"I wake up at 5 am everyday to cook breakfast and make sure 4 teenagers are getting dressed instead of fighting. I make sure blues on time for school and Chloe, halle and lovie all have something to do during the day" i snapped back

"I deal with all the tantrums, the crying, the nightmares, the sick days, the search and rescue of love because somehow she's always trapped somewhere and all the other billion problems teenagers have! Now i know i am not their mother and I've never pretended to be but those are my girls and there's not a damn thing you or anyone else can say to me about them" i ended not really giving a damn if she was my mom or not at this point

I had to take a minute to calm my nerves because i was already just a bit on edge after sitting through this entire hearing and now my mom comes in here with this bullshit

I was extremely annoyed but i knew i couldn't show the girls that because then they'd be mad because I'm annoyed... it sounds crazy but that's exactly how it happens every time

"Look mama... i love you. Like i said previously I accept your apology and i hope we can fix whatever the problem is because you are my mother and i don't want us to be strained but if you can't accept the girls and their role in my life then you can honestly just leave and never speak to me again"...

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Chapter 36!!! Sorry guys school started this week 😕

Shawn telling the girls he loved them?

Mama Tina and her feelings about the entire situation? How do we feel about this?

Beyoncé telling her mother off? Do you think  she was wrong?