Omaha Sex Diaries

Part 16

Natalia POV

"You, you're the one that's, that's sending me texts and dropping off random gifts. I, I saw you drive away one night and in that car." I said as I pointed behind me to the black Nissan in the Maloleys driveway.

"Tal, let me explain, please." Nate pleaded. He knew there was no avoiding the subject.

I nodded, anxious for this explanation. I was shocked that Nate was behind this, but it all made sense. Like that time I asked for his number and he told me I already had it.

Nate let out a deep breath. "I've liked you for like ever, since you were a freshman and I was a sophomore. You were so innocent back then, there was something about you that caught my eye right away. I was shy back in high school, I never broke out of my shell until I graduated. My panic attacks would be at an all time high when you were around, you made me so nervous. I remember as your freshman year went along, you started getting mixed up with the wrong people and wrong things, but you still had this effortless beauty about you. You may have never noticed me in high school, but I always noticed you. You were always the life of each party and I was always that guy in the corner always too shy to talk to you. I never let myself forget that I could have had a chance with you, I wanted to make you mine so badly. Seeing you go through guy after guy hurt, but I knew it wouldn't be long until you'd be out of that phase. I wanted to be that guy that swooped you off your feet, the one that finally made you realize it was okay to fall in love, okay to take a chance. My feelings for you only intensified, I couldn't exactly tell anyone how I felt. Sammy hated your guts, Gilinsky was in love with you too, and Johnson was always conflicted with his feelings towards you. High school came and went for me and when I moved out to L.A, I never forgot about you. I still wanted to be that guy for you. Before coming home for this summer, I basically made it my mission to talk to you, get to know you, make you smile and happy. I got your number from Johnson and I knew you didn't have mine, so that's how the texts started. I learned so much about you from the guys like your favorite flowers and food, so I thought those were nice gestures. I never wanted to creep you out, I just wanted to make you smile. I planned on telling you at some point this summer, but then we made out that night and it was amazing Tal. Like kissing you was everything I ever dreamed of. I was pissed it was cut short, but it was for the best. I know you slept with the other three guys this summer, and I'm not gonna lie that pisses me off, but I know it's a matter of time before you get over that phase. I'm gonna be there when you're ready to move on. We've bonded so much in the past 24 hours, like more than I've bonded with anyone and I'm sure the same goes for you. Just answer me this, Why can't you just believe that someone actually wants you for more than sex?"

I listened to every word Nate said and let it sink in. It didn't bother me that he was my anonymous texter, it just surprised me and I didn't have a reason for why I didn't let anyone in. Sex was the closest thing I did when it came to letting people in.

"I-I don't know. I'm fucked up Nate. I don't know why I am the way I am. All I know is that you don't deserve me, you don't deserve someone that doesn't even love herself, someone that lets guys use her. I can't promise you anything Nate, please don't wait around for me." I said, tears forming in my eyes as I turned away ready to exit the car.

Nate's hand grabbed me, turning me towards him. Our eyes met, as he looked at me with a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"I can't do that." was all Nate said as he pressed his lips against mine. His fingers were placed against each side of my face. The kiss was probably the most passionate kiss I had ever experienced and the only kiss I ever felt a true spark from.

We broke apart and stared at each other in silence for a few seconds.

"Let me fix you." Nate said as he wiped away my tears with his thumb.