Sleepwalking // Sam Fender

5

Life in Newcastle became easier since the moment Shirley offered to babysit Beth on Fridays. Beth quickly got attached to the woman so she would often stay for sleepovers said days. Thanks to this situation, I started hanging out with the girls and the lads at least once a week and every last Friday of the month, we would make our way into the local club as a group. Anne seemed to get along with Drew pretty well and Alexia and Dean would often disappear together halfway through the night. I personally spent most of the time with Sam around me. He would walk with me to get another drink, wait for me outside the loos and danced with me all night long.

That Friday was no different. Alexia had already vanished and Anne had had one too many and was becoming rather touchy with Drew. At this point, Sam and I were just standing on a corner, holding our drinks while witnessing Anne's attempts to flirt with an overly pissed Drew.

"Just look at the way she looks at him" Sam said amused.

"She can't tell whether he's a person or a bottle of vodka" We were acting like old grandmas chitchatting about everyone. It was our favorite pastime and it also became our usual thing when sitting in the park while Beth played with other children.

"Those two will never have the guts to do anything while sober. It's getting painful that" I lifted one of my eyebrows.

"Who has the guts to do anything sober anyways" I mumbled. Sam took a quick glance at me, perhaps he had heard me.

"Want to go out for a smoke and I'll walk you home?" He asked.

"We don't have much to do here, do we?" I said.

We went out for a smoke, as he said, and I must admit that much to my dislike, I started smoking again. I'd have one cigarette or two maximum every time we were out. So, both of us lit our cigarette and smoked in complete silence.

"Going to catch a cab, aye? It's fucking cold these days" Sam said as he tried to warm up his hands after he had finished his cigarette.

"Sure. You can stay for the night at mine" Sam looked at me and frowned. "You know, so you don't have to pay for the cab again" He nodded.

"We're both going to my mam's tomorrow morning anyways"

We left the buzzling street as we catch a cab back to my flat in silence. Each of us staring through a different window. If we were a couple, the driver must have thought that we just had the biggest fight ever. But we didn't, alcohol kept me quiet and my mind running so I actually had a struggle to filter my thoughts and words when alcohol was in my system.

We arrived at mines and after a few 'we can share bed', 'I'll take the couch', 'no really, we can share the bed' and so on, we ended up laying in bed together. Like, Sam Fender was actually in my bed, wearing some of my old pajama's bottoms. Our faces were inches apart as my bed was not king-size or anything similar.

"Hey you" Sam said with his eyes half closed.

"Hey you" My eyes could barely stay opened as well but I had a light smile plastered on my face.

"I enjoyed myself today" He said.

"Did you?" I asked.

"Well, it all became better when you arrived. Luck seems to have come around here again, you know?" I kissed his forehead softly (drunk action, I must say).

"I had a good time too Sam. I was scared of not fitting in but I'm not scared of that anymore thanks to you" Sam smiled and turned on his back. We stayed for a few seconds in silence, with our eyes closed.

"You know, I would kiss you right now" Sam said.

"Do it then" Sam opened his eyes and turned to look at me.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded.

He leaned in and our lips softly brushed enough to make my stomach tickle. I would have never thought that I would end up falling for a British man this soon. In that moment, as we kept on kissing, the world around us was spinning until it disappeared. That feeling may have been caused by a mixture of alcohol and extreme happiness. The night went on and as we were both intoxicated, more than innocent kisses occurred. The morning after, I woke up to breakfast in bed. Sam had made peppermint tea (he said that it was good for the hangovers) and an almost English breakfast since I only had eggs, tomatoes, baked beans and bacon.

We did not make 'our thing' official as life went on as two friends who are still really close and occasionally share kisses (and a bit more than that). Our friends (and Sam's mother) knew that there was something more going on but none of them pressured us into anything.

We once made our way back to Sam's flat, which was right by the ocean. He claimed that it was not as 'charming' as mine but it was alright. One bedroom, one bathroom, and the kitchen was right next to the sofa. We shared our dreams and fears during those nights together.

I learnt that Sam had a difficult childhood since his family barely had any money at all and other issues came across Sam's life as when his brother got jumped and Sam thought that he had lost him. Or that other time when Sam's childhood friend came into the Lowlights to ask for an inheritance that Shirley did not have. He told me about his dad, who was living in France and the time, and it was as if he was there but he wasn't all at the same time. He shared some new songs with me as well and bits and chunks of melodies and lost lyrics.

I told him about my family. But without going into much detail. I simply told him that my parents had passed away and that I had an older brother with whom I don't speak anymore.

We cried and we laughed all at the same time together. Without even realizing it, we started building a connection between us which grew past the Lowlights and the Friday club. Sooner rather than later, I realized that even if I was scared of getting hurt again, I was ready to give Sam a try no matter the outcome. I didn't know it just yet but Sam shared those very same thoughts.