rough patch hardin and tessa

chapter 31

hardin
i didn't really sleep last night.i couldn't.i felt very shook and shocked knowing im actually a dad. its a very weird but thrilling feeling you could say.and even though tessa,who at the time was high on the drugs they gave her for pain,said that em is fine.i still couldnt help and think she wasn't and i dont know why.i even googled it just in case tessa was too out of it and she was right as per usual.

i went to see emery this morning.her skin was quite yellow and she was sleeping peacefully.shes cute.i do actually want to hold her again.but i thought i should wait till tessa wakes.she has barely even seen her.whilst i wait for tess to wake i call my mum and tell her the news.
"really wow!"she squeels down the phone
"yep at 11:57 last night"i say"but she is in some incubator at the minute with somthing called jaundice.so we haven't seen her much"i say
"you had that when you were born.you recovered quickly though.you need to send me pictures!im proud of you son"she says and i smile
"ive got a few."i say looking at the 3 photos i have.the one where tessa is smiling down and holding emery melts my heart.i send them quickly while my mum ramble on.she looks at them.
"how is tessa"she asks
"she is still sleeping.it was alot of pain for her.she literally passed out and went to sleep after 20 minutes.she was quoting hemming way while half asleep because the drugs werent out of her yet"i chuckle and so does she.
"i hope the both recover quickly.and i will be visting soon.ive been planning it."she chirps and after a couple of minutes she hangs up because she hato go to work.

i go back into the room and tessa is rubbing her eyes and i sit down next to her.
"good morning beautiful"i say stroking her hair.
"stop lying.i look a mess.but morning"she croaks.
"you like fine.are you feeling okay?"i ask and she shakes her head.
"im saw very saw"she says"but i want to go and see emery"
"i could bring her to you?"i offer and she shakes her head.
"i need to get back on my feet"she says
"well be carefull.i dont want you to put  yourself in anymore pain than your already are"i say helping her by holding her hands

she crys out in pain a couple of times but refuses to stay in the bed.
"take it steady okay"i say holding her hand tight as we walk through the corridors."shes here"i say softy opening the door and taking her to em as there is alot of babys in here."she is right here"

"shes crying we can get her out for 30 minutes "she says "she is adorable"i nod in agreement.she holds her in her arms.taking the mask off her eyes.as we go to the door to leave the incubator place a women stops us to give our names and time as it is imortant she is not out for too long.
"can you hold her while i get on the bed"tessa asks and i nod.i pass her back when tessa is in the covers.and she stars to feed her.and then wind her.
"you should change her nappy"she says
"ive never changed a god damn nappy in my life i dont know how"i say truthfully
"how have you never changed a nappy.ive done it billions of times."she laughs and i shrug"ill show you then you can do one later but pay attention"

"she hasn't gotten to wear any of her cute clothes yet because of being in that incubator "tessa says while we walk through the hall to the nicu
"i know hopefully she will recover quickly"i say
tessa and i kiss her on the head before butting her back in her incubator.

we go back to the room.and some nurse comes in the check on tessa and ask if we have fed and changed em.
"im just really saw and i have a headache "tessa says
"we can give you some antibiotics "the nurse says and tessa thanks them.
"i wish we could go home.hospitals arent the best of places"she says
"true.do you want me to go and get anything from the house?"i offer and she says not yet.
"i feel like i slept forever last night but i am still shattered"she says
"well what your did was obviously draining and im proud of you.so if you feel like you need to sleep.sleep baby "i say
"im just sick of this place already.i want to get out of here"she says and i agree.

a week later
tessa
i am feeling much better than i did a week ago which feels like ages ago.but i have had some mood swings at hardin for no reason and i have been feelling very sad and im not sure why.but ive been ignoring it.but we are still here at the hospital.luckily they have showers here and hardin has been going back and forwards for stuff.
emerys jaundice has gotten better and they have thought about discharging us which is such good news.hardin has spent every night here by my side which i love.

a nurse comes into our room with emery.
"she is ready to come home"she smiles passing her to me and i quickly change her into an outfit.im over the moon that we finally get to bring her home.
"ill go get her carseat from the car"hardin says and i nod.
i make the bed and clear my stuff into my bag.hardin comes through the door with the carseat snd we strap her in.
"shes wearing the outfit i got her"hardin chuckles.this outfit its from the very start of my pregnancy when we took a break from eachover for a month.he gave me it as part of his apology.
"lets get out of here"i say and i pass him my bag and he rolls his eyes at my bossyness

"i dont think ive ever been this happy to be back at home"i say and he agrees
i unlock the door and walk into our quite house.i take emery up to her nursery.me and hardin decorated it.its beautiful.emery is awake right now so i take her out of the carseat and i sit on the rocking chair.and memories flood my hair.

flashback
as i paint the wall pink hardin is beside me doing the some thing.i decide to flick some paint at his face.and then quickly go back to paint before he looks at me.
"thereasa i am not stupid nor dumb"he says flicking even more paint than i did at him.
"oi i only flicked a little bit not lots"i laugh wiping some off my lips.i wipe lots on his lips with a paint brush.he laughs.
"you still have paint on your face"he says"i can get it off you"he offers and i tuck my hair behind my ears.

he gets his thumb and wipes the paint and i wipe his off.and not even 5 seconds after he starts to make out with me.i drop my paint brush into the tub and put my fingers through his hair.he drops his paint brush too and puts his hands on my curves.
we starts walking backwards and he walks into the rocking chair he brought home randomly one day.
he slowly sits down and we are still making out.im currently on his lap.we stop and he rubs his nose against mine and we both smile at eachover.
i bury my head into his warm chest.
"i dont think we will ever finnish this room"i say
"not if we keep turning it into a make out session."he replys playfully
"you turned it into a makeout session today not me"i jokingly argue
"well i think we hsve done enough today.my arm is tired"he says
"well we could finnish reading the great gaspey"i say getting it from the desk from beside the chair.
"anything you want my love"he says softly as i give the book to him.my heart bursts everytime he says that.

flashback over
"tessa?"hardin says snapping me out of my day dream"what was your beautiful brain thinking about"
"just a memory of us from in this room"i shrug
"we have alot of memories in this room"he smirks.
"yes we do.now she needs her nappy changed and you can do it while i set up the milk machine"i say and he rolls his eyes"you have avoided it mostly so"i say
as soon as he smells her he pulls a face."shes done a shit.and it doesnt smell very pleasant "he takes her over to the changing table.i scold him for his language and he soon is quite