rough patch hardin and tessa

chapter 23

tessa
i decided not to go.i feel to drained to go anywhere right now.i know its stupid but im tired and i feel humiliated right now.i look at my phone and look at his location.he is exactly at our special place.he goes there to think alot.so im guessing thats what he is doing.

these stomach pains are getting worser per week and i feel so weak.
at every notification i get on my phone i check fast incase its him.he is probably there waiting for me to go and im not even going

hardin
i left the house.i felt horrible.ive left her a note saying im at our special place for a few hours.she can come or not.im hoping she does come.we do need to talk.i just couldn't do it in that percific moment.i felt like i couldn't breathe
i made her feel like that?
i feel like an absolute monster
and she still stayed and loves me?

i mean im surprised i did not relapse and get the drink out.i think that just shows i know that would hurt her too.
i keep looking at my phone for her notification but she is still at the house doing whatever.i think she is still obviously annoyed i looked though her shit.but the thing is that book has taught me a lesson on not to hurt her ever again so.

i sit on the bank by the water and stare into the distance.i feel exactly back how i did in step one.

its been 2 hours now theres no chance she is coming now its like 6:30pm.until i hear a car and i turn my head to be blinded by the lights.the car stops and the window gets pulled now.

"hardin get in "she says and i stand up "so you dont even want to talk"i say

"i dont want to talk about anything right now i just want you to come home"she says and i get in the car
"the reason why i wanted you to come is so we could talk"i say
"well the reason i came was to bring you home"she says
"i could of easily came home whenever"i say
"not in the dark"she says
"wouldn't be the first time"i say
"hardin please shut up"she says stopping the car and putting her hands on her head.

tessa
"your lucky i even came"i mumble and i start the car up again
"look tess i am sorry.sorry for multiple things-"he says and i cut him off
"i dont want to do this apology shit yet.i just want for us to have a good weekend.we can sort it out when we get back.can we just forget about it right now"i say and he nod
"i will be more calm then"i say

we get in the house and i put the car keys on the side
"your dinner is in the microwave,im going to bed"i say and go to the bedroom
i have already got my pjs on so i turn the telly on for background noise and turn the light of and get the the covers and stare at ceiling.
i probably should of had a 'talk' with him but i am way too tired for it.we can sort it on monday

after 20 minutes or so.im still not asleep.im tired but i cant sleep.and hardin comes in.he is wearing some shorts and no t shirt.he knows i am not asleep he saw me awake.
i turn to face the window and he faces the other way.
"why aren't asleep yet thereasa"he whispers
"because i couldn't sleep.but i am starting to feel tired now"i say knowing that is a lie.

he turns as i feel him turn so he is currently facing my back.
"well i think"he says"you will sleep easier like this"he says and cuddles up tords me.stroking my stomach and hair.
my heart is saying yes but my brain is saying stop
"good night thereasa"he whispers in my ear

hardin
tessa is currently trying to ignore me the best she can but i know she cant.im purposely making it so she can't ignore me.

she turns to my face.and she looks at me.
"im trying to go to sleep"she says and i move her hair behind her ear"but i cant help thinking about how we aren't on good terms"she says and we both sit up and put the lamps on
"the reason why i got so upset is because i did not want you knowing how i felt whenever we argued because we were now like the best we have been and my health mentally was not very good in that point of my life.i also just felt invaded with my privacy"she says and i listen to every word.

"first of all tess.i knew the second i saw the book i probably shouldnt look but i did and i was stupid for doing that.i also just want to apologise for the way i have made you felt these past couple years.i also want to say.thankyou for putting up with my shit and not leaving me for it"i say and i kiss her head a couple of times and say sorry after every"i think maybe i need to apologise to her too.for the way i reacted when you fell pregnant "i say and i peck the bump and say sorry.she looks happier now.
"i think that is apology accepted from her"she says"she just kicked"
"well is my apology accepted from the love of my life"i say
"hm maybe"she laugh and kisses my lips and makes me lie down.we turn off our lamps.she lays on my chest and she falls asleep after i stroke her stomach after a few minutes.
the fact her mood whilst pregnant can go from point a to b anytime is so so confusing somtimes.

tessa
my alarm clock wakes me up for once but as per usual not hardin.its 6 am so im just going to leave him to sleep while i get ready.
i do my make up and straighten my hair .put a pair of leggings on and and a jumper

im glad we made up last night because that was obviously the reason why i could not sleep.and i just felt like we needed to do it there and then as this weekend is all for him.
i think the morning sickness is wearing off a little bit or is just deciding to stop for a few days.

hardin is such a deep sleeper.he hasnt even woken up at the noise of me.after ive gotten myself ready a decide to wake hardin up.we have like an hour and a half to get to the airport.
"hardin"i quitely say while nudging him.he groans and his eyes flicker open
"its time to get up and ready"i say and he sits up and streches
"your up before me?first time in ages"he says
"yes.now chop chop"i saying giving him his clothes to get changed