rough patch hardin and tessa

chapter 14

fast forward 2 months
tessa
i am currently 4 months pregnant.wow.i find out the gender soon and im really excited.so is hardin.he has all the baby scans hanged up on the wall.my stomach is big and heavy.but i know its going to get to a point where i will barely be able walk up some stares like some people.

im hopeing i feel some kicks soon.google and docter said around 16 to 24 weeks i will feels it move.im 18 weeks so not a worry.

hardin has been working alot so i havent seen him much as his work keeps on calling him in about the book.he said they want to do some kind of party night to celerbrate his book.and it will obviously involve alcohol.i did not say no as thats just controlling.i just said text me throughout the night and get home safely.if he gets drunk he gets drunk i wont be mad.plus he deserves a whole party and a drink or so with lituarlly everything has done these 4 months hes been nothing but amazing.
he asked if i wanted to go with him.i said no as i dont think thats a good enviroment for me now.well atleast at the min.

i feel bad.as all im craving at the min is his attention.but when i do have his attention i lash out on him.ive been doing it too much lately.but he still puts up with me.which i am so thankfull for.

lately all i want to do is eat.i feel as if im over eating and after eating i regret eating like loads of bags of junk and biscits or something.but i cant help it my body(the baby)is wanting me too.but sometimes if i do eat too much i end up vomiting.hardin isnt really here for it.i have told him like,
'this baby makes me eat until i vomit'
he usually laughs and touchs my stomach.

he has been waiting to feel the baby move.every day he waits but nothing happens but im hopeing it does soon.i just want to feel it too and see the smile on his face when it happends.

"im back"i hear his thick britush voice echo in our apartment and i run to him and hug and kiss him

"you back early"i say smileing up at him

"yep let me go.i kept nagging as i miss you two"he says playing with my hair

"we missed you too""this one keeps on making me sick.again."i say play fully rolling my eyes and pointing down tords my stomach and he laughs and we both sit down in the sitting area.

"so tess""are we doing some gender reveal party or when we are at the appointment we find out"he says.he looks so handsome.

"i dont think i have the energy for a gender reveal party.as much as i would love to do one.""i would just want that moment with us only as its special"i say

"exactly what i was thinking.plus i want to find out asap"he says and laughs"we have been waiting forever"

"anyways i was thinking of going out tonight"he says"with you obviously"

"not when i look like this" i say standing up

"what do you mean"he says and i sigh

"i look like a whale and my hair is greesy and i just dont like the way i look right now"i say

"you do not look like a whale"he says standing  up taking his tie off"i think your a godess what what your doing right now.and i cant say i know what its like because i dont.but i know its hard and tireing.but i love you"he says and kisses me

"half of my clothes are barely fitting me"i say fusratedly while looking in my wardrobe

"how about that green dress i got you"he says and i smile knowing what dress he means.

"well"i say"yes i will go out with you"i say"give me time" i walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on.

"what like 10 hours"he says

"do you want me to go out with you"i shout from the bathroom hes in our room

"ill stay quite"

i take off my clothes and look at myself in the mirror.im back at this stage i guess.i turn to see strech marks on the side.sges sgo they used to be my biggest fear.but now i dont know what to think.people say their your babys first drawings.so i thinkk its cute.

i turn the shower on and get in the shower.

hardin
i think right now is a great time to start looking at houses becuase what else am i suppost to do.i dont need to worry about money really cause i have alot of money.and i want tessa to love it.

i start browsing to see a decent sized house which isnt too big but isnt too small.it has a gate but around the gate and above it is a flower hedge which looks pretty.and it has a decent back and front garden.its 1100.i mean that isnt even that bad.my budget it 70000.ill put it on watch for now and look deeper into it later.

we find out the gender in a couple days and im excited.i think its a boy but tessa says a girl.
but to be quite frank im still fucking terrified.you would of thought ive gotten over this but no. i have 5 months to not be terrified.i have told tessa that i am and she told me not to worry as 'im going to br a great father'its sounds like a joke as half of my life i diddnt have a fatger gigure or the father was beating up my mother and i.but i soon found out i spent years hateing a man i diddnt even need to like.

if im honest.for some reason i really badly want to marry tess.i mean i never reallg wanted any of this shit when i was younger and now its all i want?that what you call mature.but thats actually too much for now.

after some time tessa walks into the bedroom looking beautiful.i cabt stop stareing at her.she has ger hair straightened some makeup on not too much and the dress i btought ger which looks grrat on her snd you can see the the bump on her stomach.

"you look amazing"i say stuutering a little

"thankyou"she says and walks over to me can you do my dess up please"she says and turns around"thankyou"she says and pecks my lip and then grabs my hand and we go out the car

"where are we going"she asks

"your fav dinner place"i say

she laughs"well i have alot of fav dinner places"

the sky is pretty and is a mix purples and pinks.tessa says its beautiful and i agree.i pull into the restraunt.and we get out of the car.

"i love this dinner place" she says holding my hand

"i know you do"i laugh and we head inside and wait to get seated which to be honest.takes the piss.we were stood there waiting for over 5 mins.

we finally get sat down.i want to show her a picture of the house im thinking of buying for us.but i want it to be a surprise so i dong think so.tess and i pick the meal what we want and we start to talk.

"we find out the gender in 1 day"she says tapping her fingers on the table.shes excited.

"tommorow then"i say smileing and she nods her head
"are you off work that say"
"dont give a shit if i am or not"i say"they can wait"i say and she smile and rolls her eye playfully.

"i was thinking"she says"we need a bigger place for this baby"she says and i nod.

"ive been thinking too"i say"but im not telling you"

"why not"she says laughing

"well i wanted it to be a surprise but you figured me out"i say"so im not saying anything else"i laugh

"okay"she says and raises her eyebrows

"just so you know"i say"that dress is definitly coming off you tonight"i laugh  and so does she