Give up forever to touch you.

Hurting

"Dream, I wanna know what's going on. You haven't have me any updates." Sapnap poured some milk in his cereal bowl. Dream tense up and ignored him for a moment, worrying about having to speak about his feelings and what's been going on. He had been avoiding it since he told him what's been going on at the café.

"It's nothing, I'm dealing with it." Dream continued to scroll through his phone, annoyed that Sapnap has brought his feelings up because for the first time in what felt like forever, he had forgotten about how upset he was feeling.

"It's a lot to deal with though. You can't be independent all the time because it's not healthy." Sapnap walked over and took a seat next to him. Dream turned his phone off and continued to eat his breakfast, as Sapnap tapped on his shoulder to get his attention.

"Sapnap, I'm fine." Dream pushed his hand off him and thought about if Sapnap had spoken to George behind his back. He really hoped Sapnap didn't tell anyone because it was something that gave Dream a struggle. Dream wasn't feeling good at all and if other people found out about the confession it would be his breaking point.

"You're not, you're hurting." It was true, Dream was hurting more than ever and he knew it. Dream knew it was bad for him to scroll through their old texts, relate every moment to a certain time he has with George, especially loosing sleep and over sleeping because of it. He knew it was hurting him, but he couldn't stop thinking about what he's lost.

"I'm not hurting, I'm just confused." Dream denied it, despite it being the most truthful thing he has heard. He didn't think about it as hurting, but now that Sapnap has said it he realized hurting was the best possible way to describe it.

"You keep putting talking about it off but I know deep down you want to." Sapnap put an arm around him and rubbed up and down on his shoulder. If Dream was pulled into a hug, which he knew he was about to be, he would burst into tears. So to avoid that, he stood up to go out his plate in the dishwasher.

"I promise you, I will tell you." Dream said, loading other nearby plates into the dishwasher as an excuse to seem busy. He hadn't tidied up in a while, and he thought it would probably be good to do as it would relieve some stress, and would take his mind off it. A messy house seemed to give him a messy mindset.

"Please, Dream. I just want to help." Sapnap said, stopping him from loading the dishwasher as he took the plate from him. Dream was stuck, he felt like he couldn't get out of this one because Sapnap was going to persevere with the questioning.

"I called him, but he didn't reply. It got sent to voicemail after dialing for a while so I left him a message. I texted him too saying his stuff arrived."

"How do you feel?" Sapnap asked, but Dream just shook his head disapproving his question. He didn't want to talk about what had happened, and he certainly didn't want to talk about his feelings because talking about it would make him break down.

"Just like shit- I'll tell you more another time. I need to do something." He lied, swiftly walking off to avoid talking about his feelings. Last time he spoke about his feelings, he lost connection with George and that's what got him into these current feelings.

As Dream walked up the stairs, he grabbed his phone from his pocket. He didn't want to tell Sapnap about his feelings, he didn't want to tell anyone for that matter, but the one person that knew the most about his feelings was George. Dream wanted to talk to someone and not get a response, who better to tell than George.

He sighed as he laid down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling fan, clutching into his phone with his right hand and his left arm over his forehead. Dream didn't know what to do the majority of the time after George hadn't spoken to him, but this felt right.

Calling him felt right, but he had just left a voice note recently so he didn't want to do that. What felt even more right, was leaving yet another text. A text that explained everything but in the shortest way possible. A text that would get everything off his chest without sending paragraph after paragraph.

Dream couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to risk George answering. He had been wishing for a response for ages but now was the time he didn't want one. He didn't want one because then he wouldn't have to see George. Of course, he could go anyways but it defeated the point of him going there in the first place. He turned his phone off and put it on the bedside cabinet, wishing he could power off his thoughts like he could with his phone.

887 words

another short chapter! it will get better next chapter or one after that, it's i don't want my writing to be too repetitive for the countdown!