Love Over Betrayal

12. Power

okay this gets a little down and dirty, but i edited a bunch of it out, you can infer what you'd like... BOLIVIA ;)

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For the rest of the day I didn’t talk much. I stared down the whole time, my checks stained with tears. I could not bear to see if Tyler was around. I just tried to get through the day as fast as I could.

When it was finally over I ran home from my bus stop. The pain was killing me. I should not have done this to him. I should not have started anything with James ever. It was all a mistake. I didn’t deserve either of them, but somehow I had James though, and he still had no idea about Tyler. What would he think? Should I just not tell him? That would probably be the easiest thing to do, but I would still be lying.

That night I laid on my living room floor, staring up at the ceiling. I did not want to do anything else andI did not feel like doing anything else. I lay just layed there. I know I shouldn’t be spending so much time weeping over Tyler, but he had been my first serious boyfriend. He was also my best friend. We would never regain that status again though. I had cheated on him, it was all me, the sad truth. I would never be forgiven. This is why it bothered me so much, I had lost a friend. It was as if I had gone out and shot him, only worse, because I still had to see him every day.

Then I heard my phone vibrate from the kitchen. I gathered the strength to go see who was texting me. A huge part of me hoped it was Tyler telling me that I was being given another last chance. But no, it was James. That was just as good now. I belonged to him only.

The text read,

Thinking of you

That was sweet of him. I was defiantly thinking of him also. I replied back to him. James was such a romantic person. Our relationship was so steamy. I quickly got a response back.

How about going to your room again, and not taking 3 hours this time?

When I received this, I immediately thought about last night’s text. I had totally forgotten whatever he had done. So before going upstairs I replied,

I’m really sorry about that

Then I climbed the stairs up to my room. I tried to wipe the tear residue of my checks before going inside. I turned my door handle slowly, and threw opened the door.

He was laying acorss my bed, head on my pillow and body drapped over the aqua bedspead.The room was dark and the only light shown from the tiny blinking light on my laptop. I switched on the light and quickly shut the door behind me. James was smiling, then his expression changed and he could tell something was wrong.

“What happened?” He asked concerned sitting up to comfort me.

I did not want to have to tell him about Tyler, but he did deserved to know after everything we had been through.

I tried to hold back tears when telling him, “When we met, things moved very fast,” I wasn’t sure how to continue the story, “There was something I didn’t tell you,” He looked up and met my eyes, terror behind the green gems, “I had a boyfriend, we were pretty serious, but things weren't going too great and i was just not thing and I met you,”

“And--“

“Let me finish," I told him,“Whenever I was with you, I couldn’t help thinking about what this was doing to him,” James’s expression was regretful and angry,“But whenever I was with him, all I could think about was you,” His head shot up, “I spent all of my time thinking about what I should do. Each day the relationship with both of you got stronger which didn't make the decision easier at all,” James was intently listening to what I was saying. A few times he opened his mouth to interrupt, but quickly decided not to,“Then I had a talk with one of my best friends and she told me what she thought I should do,”

“So we're over?” He asked slowly.

I looked at his eyes. His face was hard but eyes looked full of pain. I did not know what to say. I pondered for a second.

“No, I broke up with him, so I could be with you,” I expained.

James looked up rapidly, his face full of gleeful astonishment. He reached over the bed and hugged me tightly. I felt so relived that he had not gotten angry at me. I almost burst into tears of relife from the whole day. He was still holding me to him. My head was pressed against his chest and Icould hear his heart beating. He moved back, looking at me. We stared at each other for a moment. It should have felt weird but it was just sweet, the way things should be.

Then he leaned over and pushed his lips to mine. His tounge reached back into mine and his breathing sped up.His hands reached slowly under my shirt and I felt his warm hands on my back pulling my closer.Then he began to let me fall back slowly, and he leaned his body over me. Our lips were still locked, kissing passionately. I held onto him and his hands ran through my hair and reached the back of my head. Then they slid lower down to the front of my chest. He moved his lips down also. They were on my neck now sucking hard. I tried to push him off a bit.

“No!” I gasped.

“What?” He asked quickly.

“It’s not right!”

“Not right, how?” He questioned loudly. I didn’t respond, “Because it feels right? I love you Rachel, please,” He said again.

I stared at him again, I wanted to. He was above me, hands on my sides now. I reached down for one of them. I held it for a second. I let my head fall back.This was happening fast. I had just met James, but it did feel good, really good. We continued kissing. It was strong, and powerful. My hands were on the side of his face and i felt his smooth cheeks that were starting to prespire a bit.

“Wait!” I said sitting up.

I hesitated for a moment. Making a final decision on whether this was right. We looked at each other, “It's fine,” He assured, "It's only me,"

Then I gave myself up to him. I held his arms and then laid back onto the bed again. He hovered above me and kissed stronger. I took a breath and exhaled fast.