Distract and Sedate H.S

Chapter Twenty One

"Why weren't you close with your mom?"

God, this game sucked.

"I was a stupid, confused boy. I regret that."

"But why?"

I sighed against the warm skin of her hand under my lips. "When my parents split my dad kept the farm and left my mom with nothing, except me. So she took me away from my farm and we had to live in a small house in town. I hated her for that, but I shouldn't have."

"Where is she now—"

"My turn," I interrupted. She rested her warm head on my shoulder as we stared along the narrow stream. "How many men have you loved in your life?"

Her eyebrows formed a V just above the bridge of her nose. "Why are you asking?"

"Just answer," I whispered. I ignored my conscious' protests and brought her in front of me with an arm around her small waist. She rolled her head back against my chest and pulled the sides of my jacket around herself as I held the railing.

"So many times I thought it was love."

She stared out silently. I studied her face from behind. The mist was starting to settle and the gentle morning sun had risen into the light blue sky. It warmed my back a little, though my front was kept hot by the Hazel's warmth.

She stood between my boots and nestled into me. "How about you? When did you lose count, Harry?"

"One woman."

"Cecilia?"

"My mom," I corrected softly. Another tug to my heart. What was Hazel doing to me?

She nodded slightly before relaxing again. "You should try to reconnect with her."

"She hates me. She told me never to come back when I left."

"No, Harry. She never meant that."

I chuckled. "I love how you act as though you were there."

She brought my arm around her front and kissed the tattoo of a snake across my inner arm. "No mother could hate her children."

I exhaled dully and kissed the top of her head. She had great hope for someone who had been an abandoned baby on a doorstep. And I had experienced similar circumstances.

"Call her, Harry. She'll want to hear that you're getting better."

I wanted to believe the delicate words she murmured to me, but I knew they weren't true.

"I don't have her number anymore."

"You must. Somewhere."

"I don't, Haze. Leave it," I said firmly.

"Okay," she sighed.

I rested my chin comfortably on top of her head. I smiled lightly against her apple-scented hair. She must've used my shampoo. How weird it was, this little relationship we had.

"Why would you have come down here with me?"

"Why does that question matter?"

It had been running through my head forever. "Why would you, with your entire life cut out for you, quit your job and move into a house with someone who shows no form of potential, someone who has a daughter, who tries but inevitably fucks up or screws with your emotions. Honestly, what the actual hell were you thinking?"

She laughed, of all things. "You're phrasing it wrong. Someone who has a beautiful daughter and tries as hard as they can. Everyone has potential, Harry, and maybe it was just because my entire life was planned out that I left. I was stiff as a stick before I met you."

"That's true." I smirked to myself, remembering those horrendous dresses she wore to work. "You were so uptight about everything."

"Yeah, you told me that like the second day we spoke."

I began to chuckle deeply.

"And you told me I needed to have sex to loosen up a bit."

My laughter rumbled in my chest, unfamiliar to me. "You dressed like a virgin."

She groaned and back handed my shoulder. "You're horrible."

"No, it's true. I just wanted to rip the clothes right off you."

She threw a questioning look over her shoulder and I bite my tongue. My filter was often absent. My eyes dropped and I grinned at my boots sheepishly. It was the honest truth.

"Why did you never make any real pass at me?" she asked. Her tone was curious, maybe even insulted. But that wouldn't make any sense. She would've slapped me square in the face.

"Darcy got attached too quickly," I replied off the top of my head. I gazed over the dewed silver grass. "And frankly, you took me off guard."

"How so?"

I paused. "My turn."

We shot questions back and forth for I don't know how long. My brain lost count talking to her. She had some strange habits I noticed while we were chatting, like reaching up to rub the side of her small nose. It was lightly shaded pink in the cold. I doubt anyone else would find that interesting. I don't know why I did.

"What happens if we tie, Harry?" she asked me humorously.

I looked down at that top of her head. "I sleep in the bed and make you breakfast."

"Eager to get into that bed, huh?"

"You can bring the pillow back if you must. I don't want you and Darcy sleeping alone on the other side of the house."

She thought about this for a moment. "I have one last question."

"Yeah?"

"Who's M– Sam I mean. Who's Sam?"

My jaw tightened at his name. Enough to make me want to punch a brick wall. "My dad eventually moved from the farm back to England, and when I turned sixteen I followed. I got lost between hating both my parents and it was one big mess. I soon met Sam working as an intern at the company I came to run. As it turned out, he was a lying bastard. I only realised that too late when he was fucking Cecilia in the dorm room next to mine."

"Poor them," she muttered. "They lost out big time."

"You think so, sweetheart?" I asked sarcastically.

Her head nodded against my shirt. "Yep."

"I'm sure they're happy together somewhere in London or something." I had purposely left out some information about them. She only needed to know of a bit of it, the rest was irrelevant.

"Thanks for answering all my questions," she mumbled. Her head titled up and she snuggled the side of her face into me. She was like a little puppy.

My guilt dissolved into something else. "It's my plan to win you over."

She snickered into the side of my jacket. "Win me over?"

I couldn't think of a snarky comment to respond with. I probably shouldn't have even said it.

She stretched up and pecked a quick kiss to my mouth. Her warm lips caught me by surprise.

"I'm already here, aren't I?"

I tightened my grip around her without thinking. She was. There were a lot of things that could catch up to me later, they were almost inescapable, but at this very moment she was here and I could forget.