Drowning in Love [hajeongwoo]

Epilogue

Epilogue

Haruto

A week passed swiftly. Each and every day is spent like it will be the last, with joy and fear. I brought Jeongwoo in every places he loved. We've relived the moments he believed were significant and memorable to him. He watched me ride the scariest ride we had way back high school.

We watched the stars every night, in every field we decided to stopped by, sleeping beside each other hands intertwined.

We both know it is to cherish the moment. But I am yet to accept it, he is preparing me, he wants me prepared, with no regrets to hold onto.

I spent my nights crying, hiding how much it will cost me to lose him. But I know I must free him, regardless how much it will hurt in the process. I know time will come I need to face it.

I was packing my things since Jeongwoo asked me to stay with him tonight at the mansion.

I am ready to tell him he needs not to wait any longer if he can't anymore.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, it was Jeongwoo, the love of my life. "Haru, I need you here," Jeongwoo's voice on the other line greeted me.

"I will be right there, Jeongwoo," I said, starting the engine right away as I hopped in.

The wind blew, the music filled my ear like some kind of a signal. I feel like I'm running, like I'm chasing something.

"Where is he?" I ran inside, I can clearly hear my heart pounding. "He is at the balcony," Jihoon said, his eyes were tired. "It's cold, why is he outside?" I whispered. "The stars. He wants to watch them." I and Jihoon shared a moment of silence, "He needs you right there. Accompany my brother." He told me, it sounded so bad.

"Jeongwoo," I called, my feet becoming heavy that I can't take another step. He is lying on his bed, tucked in his blanket.

"Haru, come here," he smiled at me hiding how tired he is already. He patted the space behind him, offering me the blanket.

I lied down, squeezing myself onto him, embracing him in my arms as he locked his arms on me as well. I kissed his head, biting my lips trying not to make a sound when I already felt the hot liquid streaming down my face.

"The stars, Haru. They look so amusing," he chuckled. "I bet it will be amazing to be up there, right?" I wanted to say no, that it will be better if he is with me watching them instead.

But I know he has accepted it. And I must too. I owe him that, at least.

"Do you remember the first time we watched the stars and you told me how much you love watching them?" He asked, I nodded my head, I touched his face because I don't know if I will be able to get enough of it still.

"I've only loved it until you said that," he confessed. I gave him a smile.

"Do you know that you were the only man I've ever loved?" he smiled so sweetly like it's such a good memory he cherished the most. "I knew from the very beginning there will be no man compared to you," he continued.

I laughed, I can feel the warmth and purity of his words, enough to bring me delight and hope even more.

"And I'm sure to love you even after my last breath," he rested his head on my chest. He is drained. His body is almost out of force and strength. I can feel how much this battle made him so weak.

"I'm so proud of you, Jeongwoo," I said, he looked at me as he positioned himself sideway just to stare at me and smile, waiting for me to say more.

"I know that you've fought so hard," he wiped my tears with his hand and his other hand on my back pulled me for a kiss.

It was long, I can feel him pressing his lips more, wanting to feel my warmth like it's the last time. I kissed his forehead, I showered him kisses everywhere on his face.

God, how can I free him? I don't want to let him go, but I know I can't take command of life.

"I love you, Jeongwoo. You are the home of my restless heart." I intertwined our hands. I saw him looked up the sky, I smiled and stared at him because he holds thousands of stars in his eyes and he is my whole sky.

"You will be a beautiful star," I told him. I know he was only waiting for me to accept his destiny, he was only holding on until I tell him I can go on, on my own.

There was pain in his eyes when he looked at me, moments later he flashed me a relieved smile as if he's telling me the word "finally".

"I love you, Haruto. I have no regrets because you are here," he smiled, and once again he pressed his lips onto mine, now with finality.

"You will watch on me, right? I will watch on you, our gazes will meet until then, still," He said, I watched his eyes starting to shut, his smile lingers on his lips. My heart crumpled.

"I will, Jeongwoo. And now, you can rest on me with no worries." silent tears fell down, but to watch him have his quite and peaceful escape from all the pain towered all the loneliness of it.

"Goodnight, Jeongwoo."

A white envelope beside him flashed in my eyes.

"To my young love, Haru. I guess you're reading this right at the moment I am by your side, having my last night with you."

Tears started streaming down once again, now that I am here with him, like he knew so well this will happen. He was all ready. And it's painful, but I'm glad he will leave easy, with lightness.

"Mianhae, I have to leave you behind for good. It was a torture thinking what will happen if I were to leave you and take a good rest because all I wanted is to live happily with you, sincerely, with all my heart. But my weak heart can't take it anymore, Haru. It's painful and sad to keep living this way. I wish for you to live peacefully, happily, and make the most out of it while it lasts, because I did, right here with you now. I lived happily, my heart is filled of love, and I wish I won't drain all the hopes, dreams and love you have in you when I'm away. I will watch over, I said, right? I will watch on you, I will meet your eyes and gazes up there, so show me a wide smile when you come to see me."

I feel so heavy, "You are so brave, Jeongwoo. You have all the freedom, now." I cried silently, and whispered my "I love you" lips curved with a smile as I cried deep inside.

"It was indeed a goodbye, Haruto. I love you so deeply, and now, I'm not drowning anymore."

I touched his face and kissed his head. "Sleep well now, Jeongwoo. Take your good rest."

Finally, it came to its end. This must be the longest story that I need to finish writing. Actually, I continued with my life without worrying if I can finish this one or not. But when I faced such a cruel circumstances in my life, it brought me here again, because writing is my only comfort. I came back supporting the group again because I need something to lean on. I hope this story brought you joy. It might ended in the most heartbreaking way, I poured all my emotions here to fulfill what the story needed. Thank you so much for reading Drowning in Love.