Was it arrogance?
Was I too proud?
I never felt confident.
There was always self-doubt.
Then they tell words.
Expectations with boast.
Said I was a pride.
It was too heavy.
The pure desire inside,
Got muddled.
My disgusting traits,
How I hate.
It was terrible.
They expected a victor.
I wrote in a fright,
To reach the goal.
Time was spent,
I couldn't remember,
Those words on the paper,
Wish I could vent.
I couldn't understand.
Was I wretched inside?
I felt worthless.
Much of a bother.
What was confidence?
I forgot her.
Could we meet again?
But I belonged to a dumpster.
It was easy to develop,
A trauma in my head,
Like those eyes of dead fishes,
That flashes while I'm in bed.
Words of comfort,
I was guilty,
I needed a blanket,
How incompetent.
Was I pretending?
Why was I incapable?
I knew I was good,
Perhaps, I was wrong.
I was disappointed,
Self-worth just receded,
I knew giving effort,
Was never really appreciated.
I bared my heart too much,
Now it almost died,
My walls again grew,
Too large, I felt numb.
My thoughts too chaotic,
I don't know what to feel,
Escaping reality,
But they still whisper in my ear.
This disappointment,
I will embrace,
A step at a time,
In hopes I won't keel.
-JovialMask2023
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Poetry"These don't heal." TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ CONTENTS THAT SOME READERS MIGHT FIND DISTURBING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
