Milan In Love

9

"Hey, I just wanted to check on you... Just know whatever you're going through... I'm gonna be here okay? When you are ready to tell me just let me know." I left one last voicemail for Marlon who apparently disappeared.

I knew he needed space, but that doesn't stop me from worrying.

Besides, I was so fucking bored, it was
saturday and Shayla has a date; my stepmom, my dad and Lawrance were visiting my stepmom's mother. She absolutly despises me.

For some reason she doesn't share the same feeling for my father, she is convinced that my mother was the one who seduced a married man and then had a daughter with him- a mistake, as she calls me.

The funny thing is that she's not the only one who feels this way, my mother's whole family agrees with the fact that my father was the one who took advantage of a married woman who later got pregnant. In both situations, I am still the mistake.

It was a bit sad; Sometimes it's hard for me to assimilate the fact that I don't have any kind of relationship with my grandparents, that I will never experience that kind of special connection between a grandparent and a grandchild.

Or that of a cousin, an uncle...

Although I don't like to kill my head with that because I always end up feeling responsible for mistakes that don't belong to me.

I guess this ends up being the essence of my life, being something that shouldn't have been, something that should not be repeated...

Anyways.

The day passes in an agonizing silence that made a lot of noise in my head that I tried to drown out with music, but it didn't work.

In the afternoon my stupid ass decided to do a horror movie marathon, which ended in me being to afraid go to they bathroom at 1am.

still had to go, so I run to the bathroom and do what I have to do as fast as I can.

My heart was still racing when I get to my bed. Damn it! That marathon was a fucking bad idea.

Now my mind is creating scenarios where there is something under my bed.

I try to distract myself by scolling down through Instagram, when I see something that catches my attention; Luka apparently after training with a towel over his face and shirtless, revealing his abs.

He's so FINEE.

So I start stalking her profile, his photos were mostly from the neck down, he rarely showed his face and apparently always took pictures of the sky.

I wonder if he has some kind of insecurity with his face. I doubt it, he is so handsome and he knows it, his nose, his eyes, his mouth-

Oh shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

For some stupid reason my finger slipped and liked a post from two years ago.

I quickly remove it, but surely the notification has already arrived.

'stalking me so late?' Read his message. Fuck, this is embarrasing.

'Idk how my phone ended up doing that 🤷🏿‍♀️' I messaged him back.

'sure 🙄/ I bet you were thinking about me.'

'boy please🙄 you're not that relevant'

'Well I certainly was thinking about you' He typed and my heart skipped a beat.

'yeah, is really easy for me to get in someone's head ig 🙄'

'now you know what im talking about sweetheart'