I wake up in a hospital. Great. I had to go get my stomach flushed before I got the chance to end this sh**. This is so unfair. Why can't I just kill myself without someone else interfering? It's my body, my life. I should be able to choose if I want to keep it or not to have it at all. I just can't believe my luck. Every fu**ing time I try to relieve myself of stress, someone has to stop me. Meanwhile, my stress is building up inside of me and I can't take it anymore. Not fair.

I hear voices next to me, whispering quietly. I decide not to open my eyes just yet. I want to see what they are talking about. Three voices. Talking. About me.

"Yeah, when I walked into the house to get her, I saw that the place was scattered and the way that chat was ended, I was like 'oh sh**' because I knew what she was going to do. I ran up the stairs to her room and tried to open it. It was locked of course. I started banging on the door and then when that failed, I proved to her that the bus was outside and when she was at her window, I took the chance to knock down the door. I ran at her and wrapped my arms around her so she couldn't move her arms or flail. Then I saw the pill bottle she was holding. She just passed out. I knew she took the pills."

That was obviously CC. He was the only one who I have seen since the band left for tour. "Wow. Yeah she is kinda crazy. When she was mine, she broke up with me because I didn't wake up." Ashley. Well that hurt. A lot.

"I'm about ready to leave her myself. She is getting way too needy and she bashed Kesha in the head with a fu**ing rock. She told me. All Valeri told me is that she beat her up." And my heart is broken.

"Can you guys please stop talking sh** about my little sis?" Thanks CC.

"Christian, she's a crazy psychopathic bit** and you know it!" Andy? I thought you loved me. "Andy's right." Ashley? Why is everyone turning against me?

"No. She just has issues at the moment. You guys are just adding onto the stress that she already has built up."

"Whatever CC, I'm still going to break up with her when she wakes up." I hear my heart monitor speed up and I try my best to act like I'm sleeping.

"Call a fu**ing doctor. NOW!!!" I'm sorry CC. I tried not to be such a burden.

"I'm on it." No Andy. Please don't. Let my heart give out. I'm ready to die.

I heard the nurses come it and surround me.

"Valeri I need you to calm down. You are making your heart go into cardiac arrest. Valeri calm down. You are okay."

"What the fu** are you talking about? She can't hear you!"

"She's awake, sir. Something she heard or remembered is making her heart give out."



"Stay with me Valeri. NURSE GET THEM OUT OF HERE!!!"

She starts pumping my chest as I feel my heart breaking. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I screamed.



I open my eyes to see CC being pushed out of the room. I see the doctor grabbing a shock gun and come at me. I sit up.

"Get. That. Thing. Away. From. Me. Now."

The doctor looks scared of me but I don't care. I want CC to be here with me.

"CC!!" That is all I had to scream before he came bursting into the room pushing nurses and doctors out of the way. He wraps his arms around me tightly and I cry on his shoulder as he rocks me back and forth.

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