Chapter Twenty

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Hey guys! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update...I'm still dealing with Ryan's death...Enjoy!


I wake up, hair tangled in my face. All I can think about is how Andy might actually know who I am. I don't want that. I change my looks so he wouldn't recognize me. I changed my name so I wouldn't have to lie to him.

I mean, yeah, I still love him. I just didn't want to hurt him anymore. He apparently had the same intention. But he never hurt me. He might think he did, but he didn't. He was only stressed because of me. He had more important things to do than deal with my shit.

"Julie, you wanna go to band practice with me at Andy's?"

"Uhm...sure. But I'm taking my own car." I need to do something.

"Okay. Be there in two hours."

I look at my clock and realize that in two hours, it will be 12 o'clock. Shit. I need to get ready. I throw the covers off of me and step onto the cold, hard floor. I go to my dresser and grab my underwear, ripped skinny jeans, and a Sleeping With Sirens muscle tank. I go to the bathroom and turn the shower on. I bathe and wash my hair and all that good stuff before getting out. I dry my hair and curl it. I put my clothes on and do my makeup lightly.

I kind of don't want to go to Andy's because of what happened. I'll do it for CC though. It's basically a self obligation. I also have an appointment today. I will most definitely be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I run down the stairs and bolt to my car. I hop in and drive to the convenience store since I'm having a craving for spicy foods. C:

I walk in and browse until I find something that looks promising. I grab it and walk up to the store clerk and pay for it. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a car bolt out of the parking lot. My. F*cking. Car.

I bolt out of the store, leaving the Takis on the counter. All I get to see is my car driving down the road, "SHIT!" I sit down on the pavement to catch my breath. After a few minutes, I go back inside and return to my things. I take my bag and walk out the door, while pulling out my phone. I have to call CC so he can give me a ride.


"Hey CC. I need you to come pick me up. My car just got stolen."

"Woah...Where are you?"

"At the convenience store down the street we always go to."

"Give me thirty minutes."

"Okay, Thank you Ceece...You're a life saver."

I sit down on the curb and look through my music library, trying to find a specific song that calms me down. I came across "Scars" by Say We Can Fly. I close my eyes and try to relieve some of the stress from my body because it is not good for the baby.

Those scars on your wrists are the mark of the world,

An ocean that's left you so torn.

But remember the heart you brought into this world,

The same one as when you were born.

How confused you must be,

Finding love in the blood that you bleed.

But the truth is that I see,

Why you say that It's hard to be me.

And we all make mistakes.

It's not you but this world you should hate.

You're as beautiful as you were


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