It's been a month since I last saw my mother. I pray to her almost every night now. Just for a chance for her to come see me. I never knew how hard I hit my head until I saw her again. Her long brown hair was brushed but not styled. Not a mark left on her body. Her skin glowed. Her nails were perfect but not painted. Her bright blue eyes, kind of like Andy's had the light back in them. I miss her so much. Maybe one day I'll get to see her again. She must have not known that I lost the baby because she said she wanted to watch her grandchild grow up. I don't know, but she knows a lot more than I do. Maybe I'll get pregnant again one day and I won't lose it. I don't plan on it being soon though. I don't think I'm ready for a child.

I look in the mirror at myself when I see her. My mother. She told me she was going to be watching and that she wanted to see my kid grow up. "Hey mom." She smiles, but when I turn around, I see nothing.

And just like that, I'm abandoned yet again. I let out a deep sigh of depression as I finish my makeup. I leave my hair wavy because I really don't have any motivation to try that hard today. All of BVB and I are going on a picnic in a few hours so I'm trying to find something comfortable to wear. I settle on black leggings and an oversized hoodie with some flats.

I'm trying to spend more time with the guys because I know warped tour comes in a few months and they are almost guaranteed to be a part of it. So picnic was Andy's first idea. It'd be a shame if someone would get food in his hair during a food fight....

Andy and I have also been working to start my own band. I've tried writing songs but I suck at it so it might just be a cover band.

One problem:

I don't have anyone to be in it.

It sucks, it really does but oh well. Me and him are going on Craigslist tonight to look for musicians. Andy said he will try and see if StandBy records will get me an appointment.

I walk downstairs and see Andy on the couch. Great, the guys haven't arrived yet. I walk light footedly down the stairs and walk up behind the Andy that is watching TV. I hop over his head and land in his lap as he screams like a girl. I'm laughing so hard while he pouts. I feel a sudden shove on my back and I fall to the floor. I'll get him back for that.

I hold my side and start to act like I'm crying. I feel Andy's hand on my lower back as I curl up. "Baby, are you okay?" I stay in my position and add a few sniffles. He steps over me and tries to look me in the eye. I cover my face with my hands and he pries my hands off my face. I laugh evilly and kiss his lips. "GOTCHA!!!" He laughs and helps me up. We sit on the couch and watch boomerang until we hear a doorbell ring. "You get it." I look at him and shake my head. The doorbell rings again and again for about thirty seconds before I cave in. I stomp over to the front door and basically get trampled by the guys.





I sigh and jump on Andy while laughing hard.

It isn't until I feel all the pounds of the guys on my back, I realize how much fun this ISN'T. "GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, BASTARDS!!!" They all hop off of me and I fall to the floor breathing hard while they sit there laughing. "Next time, I call the top of the pile and NOT the bottom. CC is sitting upside down on a sofa with Ash poking at his ribs, which ultimately causes Cece to fall on his head and set us off on a laugh attack again. I look to where Andy was, but i don't see him. "Guys I think we crushed him. Look in the cushions." Whoops! Jake beat me to that statement. I sit up and watch Jinxx poke at the cushions of the couch and inwardly laugh at them because they are all consumed in the couch cushions and you know where Andy is? Right behind them.

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