The truth is eating me alive. I'm too sensitive talking about the truth of how my mother died in front of me. I chose the freak car accident because it seemed more real. If I had told them the truth, they would lock me in a mental institution.
I have to tell them some time soon, when I'm ready. Tomarrow, I will see the guys for the first time in a long time. They never really come over much, but they go on tour again soon. And it hurts, to see them leave. I could go, but I don't want to be a burden.
I haven't told Andy the news yet. I'm afraid he will leave me. I mean, I don't know why I feel that way. I could tell Sammi. I know Sammi and Jeremy got a divorce and all, but she's really the closest friend I have, and I'm not too fond of Alice. I do t trust her just yet. Ashley has been hanging out with this girl called Melanie. She's really cool, and she could answer almost any question you ask her. They met at the mall when she dropped her stuff. He saw her wearing a t-shirt with the BVB logo on it so he helped her. She's actually pretty cool, not the typical screaming fangirl type.
Andy has not woken up yet, so I'm in the kitchen making bacon and pancakes. Right when I put some more bacon down, I hear a sizzle and a pop. I whimper as the grease finds my skin. My skinny frame finds my way to a stool by the bar. I walk to the sink before rinsing my arm off gently. I take the bacon out of the pan and pour the grease in a plastic cup. I eat a piece and melt in its goodness. "Bacon heals the soul," I had heard someone say that one day, "that's why its shaped like a band-aid." I sit there, nawing on my bacon when I feel a gentle touch on my shoulders, "This is one of the many reasons why I love you, Val."
Wait, did he just say he loves me? I hope he's not lying. But only because I plan on telling him tomarrow along with the rest of the guys. I turn around and look him in the eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that threaten to melt me every time I look into them. He leans down to kiss me. As he does, I feel a slight tug as he tries to reach the bacon. I smile in the kiss and snatch the bacon up and run. Damn his gazelle legs. Those things kept up with me. I simply took another piece of bacon before he snatched them from me. I laughed biting into my bacon. He took a piece from the bowl and set it on the counter. He leans on the counter and looks at me expectantly, "Well, did you take the tests?"
There it is. He just couldn't forget about it today. My hands tremble as I nod. "And?" I bite my lip and take more bacon. "It wafsh pvshtve" I mumble into the bacon. "What was that?" He just pushes me to answer. I feel tears well up in my eyes as I say the worst thing I could have said, "Are you going to leave me?" I see the hurt in his eyes as he knows what I just said. I bet its killing him inside that I would think that, I didn't even mean to! All I know is that I hurt him. I expect him to hit me, but he doesn't. He gently wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. I feel his breath as he kisses my neck. I let the tears fall as he pulls my face into the kiss. After about ten seconds, he pulls away, his lips barely touching mine, his eyes still closed. "I would never leave you baby. I love you and you know that. This was all I've ever wanted. And now we can live with a small or big family and make memories, because as long as I have you, there will always be memories. I love you more than I could ever scream and I hope we grow old and die with each other."
I look up at him, tears in my eyes and smile, "Well in that case, I'm pregnant baby." I choke out a laugh-sob thing as he hugs me tight and lifts me into the air, swinging me around. I know I have to eat more, for the sake of my unborn child, but I'll be fat when he or she is gone. So really, I don't know what I'm going to do when that time comes. I can feel myself break a little more inside as I think of how ugly I will look when my stomach has expanded, despite the hard work on my figure. Words cannot express how afraid I am to gain even an ounce of weight. I pull away from Andy's grasp only to run off with the bacon, him hot on my heels. "Babies aren't allowed to have bacon until they're thirty," he says with a shout that sounds like a lions roar.
YOU ARE READING
Seventeen year old Valeri Johnson, or Val, or Ri is kind of in an awkward point in her life. In the middle of depression and somewhere close to peace of mind. Her mother died when she was young. Her father is in prison. she was adopted out to an abu...