I wake up in a white room and my back aches. I take in my surroundings and realize that I'm in a hospital. God I hate this place. I can't remember anything that happened. All I know is that I went crazy and I got pinched in the neck. Then it all comes back to me, and I do me all ALL of it. Val going insane, banging her head into the marble countertop. Me finding her lifeless looking body on the bathroom floor, her head dripping blood. Her pulse was faint and everything had slowed down for me. It felt like forever for the paramedics to get there. It was like my life had been set to slow motion while her life eased itself from her body. I was in hysterics by the time they got there. I didn't want to leave her but they dragged me out and sedated me.
I need to see her. I need to know if she's okay. It's killing me not to. I site straight up slowly, making sure I don't get lightheaded. I carefully pull the IVs out of my arm, which makes the machines go haywire. Several nurses rush in and try to lay me back down but I just push past them. I run to the front desk and talk to the lady there, "What room is Valeri Johnson in?" My voice came out really croaky but who cares? I'm not here to please the ignorant. "372, sir" she says.
I make my way up to the elevator and go to level three. I walk down to the seventh wing, which is an ICU. A tear slips from my eye as I buzz at the doors. Eventually the doors open and I walk until I find room two. I carefully open the door and walk in. Closing the door behind me, I walk over to the side of her bed as she wakes up. I take her hand in both of mine as she smiles. "Baby I've gone crazy without you. Please don't ever do that again," my voice is barely above a whisper when I say it. It was really close to cracking, but she needs to know that I love her and she doesn't need to do this stuff to herself. I look back up to her only to see tears forming in her eyes and her chest rising and falling at an irregular speed. Her heart monitor speeds up and I start to worry. I press a help button several times as I hold her hand tightly, "I love you. Baby, please don't leave me. Please don't leave. I love you. Stay with me." Doctors burst into the room and I squeeze her hand tightly one last time, "Please don't go. I love you, Valeri." Those are the last words I can say before her eyes go wide and I hear a long beep. Her heart monitor, just flatlined. My girl just took a crash in. And so did my whole world.
everything slows down as I listen to the steady beep of her heart monitor. She's gone. She's really gone. I can't bear it anymore so I curl up into a ball as I hear a faint, "I'm sorry" cross the room before the doctors leave. Only me, and my dead girlfriend in this room.
I walk to a small light for what seems like forever. When I get there, I see someone I've been longing to see again for a long time. Mom. I run to her and feel her embrace. Tears of joy flee from my eyes and I feel my heart is going to burst. "Mom. I love you. You have no idea how much I've missed you. I needed you so badly. You never visited me." I look up at her, feeling betrayed yet angry. I mean, ghosts can still live on earth, right?
Through everything I have been through, she never visited once. I let tears run down my cheeks. "Oh sweet girl, I couldn't visit. The guards won't let anyone through the gates unless to meet with someone in their family after they died." She must have noticed that I'm breathless because she stops talking and hugs me. "Y-you mean i-im dead?" She slowly nods in my hair and let's me out of her embrace. "Sweetie, your heart monitor is dead, but if you don't get back there before they bury or burn you, you can't go back at all. Its been two days there already since your body died. Andy needs you. Your baby needs you. I want to see my grandchild grow up, so that's why I'm leaving with you." I nod as she leads the way. In about what feels like forever, we arrive to a small black portal. "Together?," I ask her, my voice barely audible. She nods and we step through together.
I see my lifeless body on an autopsy table and I hurry to get in it, "Mom, I love you." She smiles, "I love you too Valeri" And now I'm back in my own body. I sit up right as my mother appears. She blows me a kiss and vanishes. I run out of the hospital room and Ru n to my old hospital room. I find my clothes on the bed folded neatly. I close the door and change out of this hospital gown. I leave the hospital when I finish. And I run all the way to my house to greet Andy.
When I get there, I open the door and a horrible smell rips through my nose. Alcohol, vomit, and dirty clothes. I wonder why there are so many dirty clothes on the floor then realize that not all of them are Andy's. The guys are here and on the couch. All passed out. I decide to walk to Jake first. He looks like he's having a nightmare, so I clamp my hand over his mouth and watch his eyes grow wide. I put my finger to my mouth and he nods. When I let go, he embraces me and let's tears fall from his eyes. I hug him back. And with that, all the other guys wake up and scream like girls. I'm soon wrapped up in their giant group hug. I'm laughing quietly, "Shh, I wanna surprise Andy." They quiet down and let me go. I slowly walk up the stairs to our room. I hear a faint sobbing through the door and it breaks my heart. I knock on the door. All I get is a "Go away." I find myself smirking as I quietly open the door. I see Andy on the bed, faced down so the sheets muffle his cries. I run light-footedly and jump on his back. He jumps up and I hear his breathing hitch. He rolls me over on the bed and turns to me. I see the light in his eyes return. He smiles softly and wraps his arms around my waist and back, using one hand to cradle my head and one to clench my side. I feel his body shake with happiness. He eventually pulls away and says the first thing since I got in the room, "Don't ever do that to me again, okay?" And with that, his lips crash into mine and my knees buckle beneath me. I let myself melt into the kiss and pull away. I see hope in his eyes and see hope. I put my hand on my belly and she shakes his head slightly. I feel tears well up in my eyes. I nod and leave to the bathroom.
I look at myself in the mirror and see my now flat stomach. I sigh and look through the bottom cabinet for my blades and find them, taped under the sink, slightly different position than when I left it. I take them out and set them on the counter and undress. I look at myself and step into the shower. When I'm done, I pick my blades up. And then, I throw. Them. Away.
I found her blades last night and used them. I made angry red mars up and down both arms. Everything has gone crazy without her here. Dirty clothes are everywhere. Me and the guys have been drinking, me mostly though. I drink to ease the pain. When she's not here, It kills me. We have lost our second child and I begin to think that she wasn't ready for one just yet. I miss her small body that fits perfectly into mine. I miss the scent of her skin, which smells like Japanese cherry blossom all the time. I miss her long purple hair that tangled when she slept.
Just the thought of her makes me burst into tears. The few months I've been with her wasn't enough time. A year wouldn't be enough time. Forever wouldn't even be enough time to spend with her. I turn so my face is smothered into the bed sheets as I sob. The thought of her makes my heart burn. I feel as if my lungs have collapsed.
I hear a knock at the door and hope that its Val. That she was never dead. That I never lost the love of my life. I come to my senses and realize that its probably Christian checking up on me again, which aggravates me, "GO AWAY!!!" I hear a sigh at the door and I'm guessing he left. My breathing hitches at the sudden body on my back. My heart skips a beat. Could it be? I roll over and see her. At first, I think I'm seeing things but then I see the guys crowded in the doorway, smiling like lunatics. I look back at Val, tears in my eyes as I say it, "Don't ever do that again." I crash my lips into hers and she breathes faintly on my cheek. The guys have left and I need her. I stand up, pulling her along as she pulls away. She holds her stomach and looks back at me. My spirits almost immediately go back down as I shake my head. She sighs and walks to the bathroom.
I really hope she doesn't find those blades....
A/N I'm sorry for such a boring chapter :/ I promise the next one will be a lot better. But this one is just a reunion sort of. Should I continue? Comment please. I need inspiration. :/
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Seventeen year old Valeri Johnson, or Val, or Ri is kind of in an awkward point in her life. In the middle of depression and somewhere close to peace of mind. Her mother died when she was young. Her father is in prison. she was adopted out to an abu...