Mirrorball // Sansa Stark

35. You Can Try

"Happy name day." 

It was hard to believe that a year and half had passed since Jae first stepped foot in winterfell. He had never felt older than he did here in the capital though. 

"Open your present." Sansa requested. She held it out for him and he smiled down at it. "Your official sigil of house Gatsby," Sansa declared proudly. Jae touched the little daisy with a green center. 

"Its perfect. Thank you Sansa." Jae remarked hugging her. "Beautiful." 

Sansa selfishly wanted to be Sansa Gatsby herself. She wanted to be Jae's wife. She wanted to be his, not Joffrey's property. She smiled leaning back into Jae fingering his cloak. 

"I can do it on your cloak too, if you want." Sansa added. 

"I would like that." Jae agreed. "A little one on the front, right here." Jae requested. 

''My Lord hand, my lady, commander, I must complement you on the gold cloaks performance these last few weeks you know there has been a marked drop in thievery.'

'I did not know.' Tyrion said looking to Bronn 'and how did you manage to get this marked dropping thievery?'

'Me and the lads rounded up all the known thieves.' Bronn said simply

'For questioning?'

'No.' Bronn said 'it's just the unknown thieves we need to worry about.'

'We didn't-'

'We talked about it.' Bronn said 'When the city under siege maybe this part is not in your book it's not the fighting that kills most people it's the starving. Food is worth more than gold noble ladies sell their diamonds for a sack of potatoes things get bad enough the poor will start eating each other the thieves they love siege as soon as the gates are sealed they steal all the food by the time it is all over they are the richest men in town.'

'Given the circumstances my Lord I believe extreme measures are going to needed.' Varys added 'Ahh the great sieges of Westeros thrilling subject.' Varys looking over the book Tyrion was reading 'it's a shame art master Shivaya wasn't a better writer.''

"We should have a party." Sansa remarked. 

"I'm an old man Sansa." Jae mused. 

"You are not old." Sansa corrected quickly. "You are still so young and handsome, just another year wiser." Jae chuckled, nodding. 

"Wiser." Jae agreed. "A party for two," Jae remarked touching her cheek. 

"Why did you throw large parties?" Sansa questioned. "I remember father saying you threw the largest of parties on the island..." Sansa recalled. "Why not small, just like this, just us."

"And I like large parties. They're so intimate. At small parties there isn't any privacy." Jae admitted. "But I like this, just us." he assured. 

'Stannis knows Kings Landing,' Tyrion said 'he knows where the walls are strongest and he knows which gates are weakest...'

'mud gate, it's the weakest and close to the water' Tyrion said looking over a map, 'that could be beaten down in minutes and it's right by the water that is where he will land.' Tyrion agreed.

'And if Stannis does attack the mud gate...'

'Then what?' Varys asked 'what is our plan?'

'We could throw books at his men?' Bronn suggested

'We don't have that many books.' Tyrion reminded him.

'we don't have that many men either.' Bronn remarked.

'Then what do we have?' Varys questioned.

'Pig shit.' Tyrion answered.

+

Sansa woke feeling queasy, she pulled the blankets back seeing blood on her bed, on her dress and smeared over her thighs. 

"No, no, no," Sansa begged stripping her dress and throwing it in the fire before throwing on a new dress. She balled the bloody bedding up but the feather bed was bloody underneath. 

''What are you doing...'' Shae questioned hearing the commotion. 

'If the queen sees,' she motioned to the blood. 'That I can have Joffrey's children now!' she declared in a panic.

''We will flip it over or flip it over, it'll be fine she'll never know.' but handmaiden walked in she stared at the moment before rushing out, Shae ran after her

'Where are you going?'' Shae demanded. 

''to tell her grace.' The hand maiden said obviously.

'You will say nothing to anyone,' she told her putting a blade to her throat. 

''She's going to know she's going to know and hes going to kill me.' sansa was muttering when Shae got back Sandor was standing over the bed.

"Sansa whats wrong?" Jae questioned seeing Sandor leading her down the hall. 

"JAE!" Sansa screamed pulling from Sandor. She had hoped she would never bleed. She was 16 and she hoped she would be barren and never have to wed Joffrey. But instead her bleeding came and she felt sick. 

"Little dove bled." Sandor remarked as Jae held onto a shaking Sansa. 

"Where are you taking her?" Jae countered.

'To the queen." Sandor answered. 

"She won't hurt you." Jae assured. 

"Joffrey will." Sansa rasped meeting his gaze. 

Jae was not allowed in, this was a womanly talk so he paced the halls anxiously. Sansa was nervous enough as it was and now this. Jae couldnt save her from the inevitable anymore. Her bleeding all but secured it. 

''Your mother might have prepared you." Cersei remarked. "You flowered, my dear. No more." she offered simply.

"My mother told me, but I thought it would be different."

"In what way?" Cersei countered.

"I thought it would be less ... less messy." the blood was still stained on her thighs. 

"Wait until you bear the child." Cersei declared. "You're a woman now. Do you have any idea what that means?"

"I'm fit to bear children for the king?" Sansa whimpered.

"A prospect that once delighted you ... bringing little princes and princesses into the world, the greatest honor for a queen." Cersei assured her. Sansa stared back at her and cersei must have seen her hesitance. "Joffrey has always been difficult. Even his birth, I labored a day and a half to bring him into this world. You cannot imagine the pain. I screamed so loudly, I was sure Robert would hear me in the Kingswood."

"His Grace was not with you?"

"Robert was hunting. That was his custom. Whenever my time was near, my royal husband would flee to the trees with his huntsmen and his hounds. And when he returned, he would present me with some pelts or a stag's head, and I would present him with a baby." Cersei remarked with distaste. "Not that I wanted him there, mind you. I had Grand Maester Pycelle, an army of midwives, and I had my brother." Cersei remarked fondly.

"When they told Jaime he wasn't allowed in the birthing room, he smiled and asked which one of them proposed to keep him out...." Cersei added fondly. "Joffrey will show you no such devotion. You may never love the king, but you will love his children."

"I love his Grace with all my heart." Sansa answered on command. Cersei smirked back at her.

"That's so very... touching to hear. Permit me to share some womanly wisdom with you on this very special day." Cersei offered instead. "The more people you love, the weaker you are. You'll do things for them that you know you shouldn't do. You'll act the fool to make them happy, to keep them safe. Love no one but your children." Cersei informed her confidently. "On that front, a mother has no choice."

"But... shouldn't I love Joffrey, Your Grace?" Sansa countered.

"You can try, little dove."