Always You

Chapter 58: Three Weeks Later

Malaya sat on a wooden bench alongside a small lake, watching a family of ducks swim lazily along the edge. Muggle children played nearby, chasing each other. The air around her was filled with their giggles, a warmth wrapped around her, promise of the coming summer. She watched the water, its stillness unsettling after the year she had. 

Malaya ran from her darkness only to get lost in another type of evil. She healed, then created new wounds. She laughed, but too many tears were also shed. She loved, but she also lost. 

Her heart ached. 

Her mind was clouded with thoughts of Severus. How she wished she could speak with him. How cruel the world could be to allow her to survive without him. How was she supposed to survive without him? 

She grieved for everything they would never be. She hurt for the shadows he hid behind, never allowing himself to be whole. 

Malaya fiddled with the ring in her pocket, something she had grown accustomed to doing. The silver was cold against her fingers. The only piece of him she had. The only thing that gave evidence that their love had existed, that she hadn't imagined it all. The only evidence that he existed, that he lived, that he laughed, that he loved. That they had loved. 

She didn't turn to look when he sat next to her. She was expecting him. 

"Looks like summer is finally here," Lucius said.

Malaya didn't answer but continued to stare at the lake, lost in thought. Lucius sighed then fell into silence with her. 

After a long moment of silence, Lucius finally spoke.

"She's leaving me." 

Malaya finally looked his way. The underneath of his eyes were dark. She knew he was dealing with the Ministry, claiming his innocence. But suddenly she wondered if his exhaustion came from elsewhere. 

Malaya turned back to the lake. "Good for her." 

Lucius breathed out a laugh. "I suppose you're right. She deserves better." 

"How's Draco taking the news?" 

"We haven't told him yet," Lucius admitted. 

Silence fell between them again. As much as Malaya didn't want to admit it, it was nice not having to be sad alone. 

"I miss him," Lucius said suddenly. 

Malaya turned her neck to look at him.

"Severus," he clarified but Malaya already knew who he meant. "It's strange... knowing he isn't there anymore. I don't really realize that he's gone until I think about it. It still feels like I can send an owl and he'll reply."

Malaya's throat swelled with emotion.

Lucius let out a soft chuckle. "I did the most preposterous thing the other day. I wrote him a letter." He bit his bottom lip uncomfortably. "I didn't send it of course, I haven't quite lost my mind. But I wrote it, fully aware that he would never read it." Lucius met her gaze, his grey eyes swimming in hurt. "I just needed someone to talk to." 

Malaya had the strongest instinct to take his hand. She often forgot that he was also hurting. 

"The funny thing is," he went on, "if he was still alive, I wouldn't confide in him. I never truly did. It made it easier when I knew he couldn't reply." Lucius shook his head slowly. "I can only imagine what might come out of his mouth. He would likely tell me how this divorce is my fault. He would be right of course, but unhelpful." 

"He wasn't the best at providing comfort." Malaya smiled at the memory. 

"Perhaps," he agreed. "But he cared for you more than I've ever seen him care for another person, Malaya. You meant so much to him."