Always You

Chapter 17: Secrets and Lies

After about a week, Madam Pomfrey removed the cast from Malaya's arm. It felt good as new. She grew instantly popular amongst the Gryffindors, everyone was talking about how she stopped the Bludger with her body, almost ending her life in the process. 

Malaya was walking back from the library one night when she ran into Lucius. 

"Ah," he said upon seeing her, "Snape said you might be here." 

"Has he been watching me?" she asked. She felt like a part of her was hoping he was watching her. Her lust for him only grew. 

"How have you been feeling?" Lucius asked instead. 

"Good." Malaya extended her arm. "See. Functional and everything." 

"I'm glad," he said. "Narcissa has been worried." 

"I know." Malaya smiled sadly. "She sent me a care package." 

He took a step toward her and brushed her hair away from her face. "I've missed you." 

"Then why have you been away?" she wondered. 

"I've been incredibly busy." 

Malaya looked away, feeling like her heart tore slightly. 

"What is it?" he asked, using a finger to move her face back toward him. "What was that look?" 

"I'm just reminded of how different we are," Malaya said quietly. "How much we just... don't fit." 

"The only person saying we don't fit is you," he shot back. "We can be whoever we want to be." 

Malaya shook her head. "That isn't true. You are someone different to me, to You-Know-Who, to... Narcissa." 

"The only thing that matters is the version of me when I'm with you." 

"It's hard to block the other versions out," Malaya said. "I can't stop myself from thinking about them, wondering about them." 

"I'm sorry this is difficult, love," Lucius said softly. "But I can't let you go. Not now. I need you." 

He kissed her softly, the kiss becoming more passionate as Malaya allowed herself to lean into it. 

A gasp echoed through the hall and they tore apart, turning toward the noise. Ginny stood at the end of the hallway, her mouth agape. 

"I-I'm sorry," she said quickly, her face turning into a scowl. 

She turned and left. 

"Ginny!" Malaya called after her then broke into a run. 

She followed Ginny all the way to the common room, Ginny breaking into a sprint. Malaya gave the Fat Lady the password to open the hole leading to the common room and crawled in. 

Ginny was standing by the sofas, Neville looked at her with concern. 

"Ginny," Malaya said breathless. "Please let me explain." 

"You're a liar!" she shouted at her. 

"I never lied!" Malaya retorted. "I just... withheld the truth." 

"That's the same thing!" 

"No, it's not." Malaya took a step forward. "And I only withheld it because I knew this is how you'd react." 

"Oh, I'm sorry," Ginny said sarcastically. "Am I meant to congratulate you?" 

Malaya rolled her eyes. 

"This is why Draco is mad at you, isn't it?" Ginny asked, her eyes bright with understanding. "How long has this been going on?" 

"It doesn't matter," Malaya said. "I know it's a mistake and it's wrong, but it happened. In the summer, I didn't know who he was, what he did. All I knew was that he was charming and he made me feel good." 

"But now you know," Ginny said. "And you're still with him." 

"It's not that easy." 

"Is he forcing you?" 

"What- No of course not," Malaya said. 

"Then it seems pretty easy to me." 

"You're not even trying to understand," Malaya said, anger bubbling inside her. 

Ginny crossed her arms over her chest. "I thought you were on our side." 

"I am on your side," Malaya said, pleading with her to understand. "I have always and will always be on your side. This isn't about sides." 

Ginny looked away, disgust in her features. 

"I don't know how to fix this," Malaya said, more to herself than to Ginny. "I don't know how to fix any of this." 

Malaya felt tears form in her eyes. 

Ginny let out a breath. "Malaya...I-" Ginny looked at Malaya, a mix of sympathy and hurt in her eyes. "I don't know what to say. How can I trust you after this?" 

Malaya shook her head slowly. "I'm not going to lie to you, Ginny." Silence as Ginny waited. "I won't stop seeing him. Not yet, anyway. Either you accept that and trust that I am not telling him anything or you don't." 

Ginny looked momentarily crestfallen. She said nothing as she sat on the sofa, opened a textbook and stared into the book. 

Malaya nodded, understanding her choice. She turned and walked out of the common room. 

She had no idea where she was going or for how long she had been walking. She was playing the scene over and over in her head when she collided into Snape. 

"Do you ever watch where you're going?" he hissed. 

Malaya looked up and knew she was in the dungeons by the lack of windows. Snape looked down at her, noticing the tears on her cheeks. 

"Miss Hansley, is everything all right?" he asked cautiously. 

Malaya shook her head to indicate that everything was not all right as more tears fell. 

"Perhaps we should fetch Professor McGonagall," Snape suggested, looking awkwardly behind her. 

"Can we just sit somewhere?" Malaya asked. 

Snape glared at her for a moment, clearly wanting to say no. "Come," he instructed.

Snape led her through a door. The room was covered in bookcases, the books old and worn out. A desk sat in the middle of the room. Gadgets and trinkets littered every surface, and a fire roared in the hearth behind the desk. 

Malaya took this to be Snape's old office. 

"Sit," he ordered. 

Malaya sat on one of the armchairs as Snape took the other. Malaya buried her face in her hands, the silence stretching. 

"Was it Lucius?" Snape asked quietly. 

Malaya took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "Indirectly." 

"I told you to stay away," he said. 

Malaya started crying again and Snape stayed quiet. Even though she was crying, she felt a sense of comfort in his office, in his presence. She curled into the armchair, crying, until she fell asleep. Snape let her sleep for awhile, doing work at his desk as she dreamt.