19. my beloved -THE MOON

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i peeked through my window

the boys and girls my age hanging out

their skin beamed with a wondrous glow

i heard their chuckles and laugh sprout


kissed by the glittery beams of sun

like all ,they too were in the love with the light

but i couldn't do the same

for i had my loyalty vowed to night


i was in love with the moon

but forbidden was this love affair of ours

yet i sneaked to my window in the earliest a.m.

and recited my poetry to my lover


he saw me with no illumination

yet he loves me as such

he knows the ugliest bits of me

and handles me with the softest touch


my beloved and i

talk through the night

in the most peaceful dead hours

and i cherish his gifts of constellations

more than sun's wilting flowers

It's been a week since I poured my heart out to Dhriti and Saara, confessing my feelings for Aadarsh

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It's been a week since I poured my heart out to Dhriti and Saara, confessing my feelings for Aadarsh. They've been relentless in their urging for me to tell him, convinced that he harbors the same affection for me. But the future of my heart is uncertain, written in unyielding black ink. Even if, by some miraculous twist of fate, he were to reciprocate my feelings, I fear I wouldn't be able to pursue a relationship with him. My academic aspirations demand my unwavering focus, particularly with the formidable NEET exam looming on the horizon, just two short years away. I worry that I wouldn't be able to balance both a relationship and my studies, particularly when our only means of communication would likely be through our smartphone screens once our time at this institute comes to an end.

I used to treasure every fleeting moment spent in Aadarsh's presence, even though our relationship was nothing more than that of distant acquaintances, our interactions limited to brief exchanges of pleasantries and inconsequential small talk. My love-addled mind hatched a plan to join the institute van, fervently hoping that fate would conspire to place us in the same vehicle since my house was conveniently situated between his home and the institute. Perhaps, I thought, this would give us the opportunity to become better friends.

So one day, I mustered up the courage to approach my parents and request that they enroll me in the institute van. They looked at me with confusion etched on their faces, wondering if I was the same girl who had previously insisted on traveling independently. But of course, they agreed to my request.

Saara and Dhriti watched me with barely concealed amusement as I sat in the last lecture, my fingers restlessly cracking my knuckles as I silently implored the universe to grant me this one small favor. 

Please, I begged, let the teacher assign me to Aadarsh's van

But fate can be a fickle mistress. The van I joined was devoid of familiar faces, not a single person from our class to be found. I was adrift in a sea of strangers, utterly alone. I slumped in my seat, my heart heavy with disappointment as I cursed my luck. 

Was it really so selfish to yearn for just a few more precious moments with the person who had captured my heart?

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