you know
there's not a lot of people in this world
that i genuinely wish ill will upon
but i was reminded of the one exception
to this rule as she drove down the driveway
to pick up my little sister for cheer practice
i remember sitting at dinner,
the last time we ever met each other face to face
and she said, "my biggest fear in life
is that this is the happiest i'll ever be
because if this is my peak
then it's only downhill from here, right?"
and i know she said it just to spite me
and to get a rise out of my petty self
but her unspoken words still linger
"i'm the happiest i've ever been
and my life has never been better
now that you're not in it."
it was the 'now that you're not here'
that wasn't said but heavily implied
that makes me fume with rage even now
so yes
i do
i hope that was the happiest you've ever been
and i hope that one day
you hurt with the fall
and it hurts you just as much as it did me
i hope you feel every ounce
of the pain you left me in
and i hope that its so visceral
that i can even taste it
