Trigger warning: mentions of drug use and suicidal thoughts
Finally, here it is. The chapter that holds the answers...I must warn you guys, the last part was insanely tough to write...seriously. If any of the above is triggering for you, don't read the chapter. But if you do read it, please let me know what you think ❤️
Jade POV - three years earlier
My first ever solo gig brings me back to London. The first time in many many weeks, if not months. The first steps into my new old flat. The flat I called home for years and now feels foreign. Everything is furnished like it used to be. Only a few more awards have been added, safely stored at the Little Mix shrine. First time here since I've lived here and not at Jordan's. The first time since we broke up. Any therapist would tell me to not see him, not even think about him. But I have a dog. And that dog is currently with him. So, of course, I have to go. I have to get in a taxi, go to his neighbourhood, to where I used to live with him, and pick up Mimi. And even though a small part of me knew that I was long past being mentally strong enough for such encounters, the rest of me vehemently repressed that seeing him again could hurt me. This part made sure that I could pull myself together with him, be nice and friendly, even smile. But nothing seemingly saved me from now sitting at home, sobbing aloud, permanently thinking about the depressing course of my embittered life.
I don't know how many hours I spend like this on the couch, how many tears I shed. The first time I look at my phone is when it vibrates. A text from Aiden, asking if I'll be at the club today. I have to admit, I would like to, solely because I know it would distract me. But a glance next to me, at the cute little cuddled fur baby, makes me type a quick answer that is completely out of character for me.
I have to smile honestly, despite my mood, when he calls me a few seconds later.
"What's wrong?" he asks sternly, not even allowing me to get back to him.
"Nothing," I laugh.
"Bullshit, it can't be nothing," he retorts. "Since when do you not want to go out?"
"I never said I didn't want to," I clarify. "I said I can't tonight."
"You can't?" he probes, by the tone alone I can see the furrowed brow in my mind's eye. "Why? Do you have a date?"
"Nope," I'm honest.
"Okay...what the hell," he mutters and I notice his brain rattling.
"My dog is lying next to me right now," I explain, chuckling. "And it's our first day back together, so I don't want to leave her alone right away."
"Fair enough," he says quickly before pausing for a moment and I hold my breath too.
"Is that really all?" he then asks.
"Yeah sure, what else could be wrong?" I lie.
BINABASA MO ANG
I lost the power
Fanfiction3 years after the last show of the Confetti Tour. Jade's career is at its peak, but behind closed curtains it's a different story. Behind the spotlight she has never felt more lost, has never been more alone. Where are the girls? What happened to h...
