Well, hello my loves! I'm still alive haha 😂
The internship is going really well, thanks so much for asking! They even suggested working for them permanently, so things are looking kinda good 😎 And it's a writing job, so yay!
But of course I tried writing as much as I could. Originally I planned to pack way more into this chapter, but while writing it I realised the chapter will be way too long. So I split it, sorry about that... But I'm already on the next one, so no worries, it's coming 😊
Hope you still like this one! As usual, please leave a comment or vote If you do ❤️
Jade POV - three years earlier
"You really bought this place?" he asks me. How often he has asked me this question. How often I have given him the same answer. I can't even look at him as I breathe another soft yes.
I stand leaning against the door with my arms crossed, watching him walk up and down the flat, looking at everything very carefully.
It's been so long since we last saw each other. Far too long. Almost as long as the last real conversation we had with each other. We have so much to say, but at the same time there is nothing. When we are together, neither of us really dares to open our mouths. When we talk on the phone, we both avoid the important topics. We fumble around each other, usually not getting beyond small talk or shrouding ourselves in silence. It is no longer possible to deny that we are drifting further and further apart.
That was always clear to me. I knew it the moment he walked in the door to my hotel room. Wet with sweat, completely out of breath, pale faced after the ordeal of coming here, he rushed in. One look into his eyes was enough. From then on, I knew our fate was sealed. Before me stood a broken man. His eyes reflected so much sadness, so much pain. It was immediately clear to me that we would not recover from this blow of fate.
Yet I hadn't said it out loud, at least not for a while. I didn't even allow the thought alone, I resisted it, vehemently repressed it. But at some point I knew that I could no longer lie to myself. That I could no longer ignore the ever-present thought. Every time he appeared next to me, when he sat down next to me on the couch that I hardly ever left, or lay down in bed next to me, or sat down in front of me or tried to address me, always the same puppy dog eyes, the same concern, the same lack of understanding, the same frustration because he just couldn't help me. Despite all his attempts to get me out of the hole, to cheer me up, to distract me, I knew it was no longer possible for us to be together.
And at some point I finally got the courage to bring it up. To finally say that there is no hope for us anymore, that we have no future, literally, that we can't come back from this blow of fate.
The second I said it out loud, he denied it. He vehemently refused to listen, even pressed his hands to his ears like a child and got angry that I would even suggest such a thing. I became more energetic, wanted to make it clear to him that it would be better for both of us, wanted to break up, firmly convinced that it was the only right decision. But he wouldn't let me. He declared me crazy, told me that we could do everything together, that we would get over it and find each other again, that I was wrong and we would come back stronger.
YOU ARE READING
I lost the power
Fanfiction3 years after the last show of the Confetti Tour. Jade's career is at its peak, but behind closed curtains it's a different story. Behind the spotlight she has never felt more lost, has never been more alone. Where are the girls? What happened to h...
