I lost the power

Chapter 13 - come to your senses

Narrator POV

Zach was worried sick all night. At the club he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown as he searched for her, as he tried to reach her and the attempts always came to nothing. He was giving everyone hell, bugging everyone without exception who was here in the club with them to keep their eyes open and look. He got into it intensely with the security men who went along to the club especially to prevent such things from happening, he was on the phone with Kevin several times until finally Leigh called and gave the all-clear. The news that Jade had arrived safely at the hotel room and that Harry had taken her there and was with her reassured him. He already had scenarios in his head that he doesn't even want to say out loud.

But the calm in his mind doesn't last for more than a few moments until he registers Leigh's words correctly. Harry had gotten her out of the club and taken her to the hotel because Jade wasn't feeling well. He knows how bad the last few days have been for her, how much she's had to re-live, how upsetting all the conversations have been. Seeing the girls, arguing with the girls, seeing Jordan, hearing that shocking news from him, the mental breakdown, telling the girls about the miscarriage. After all these years of vehement repression, of not realising, of trying to forget, he can imagine the precarious mental state she must be in right now. He has seen her with his own eyes. The pale skin, the circles under her eyes, the blank look, the weak physical condition and then those scratches on her face. Those cuts she inflicted on herself, bringing back bad memories of a dark, earlier time that he still can't quite grasp.

He knew it wasn't the best idea. She was emotionally distraught, clearly under the influence of drugs to begin with and overtired. He knew, deep down, a club was basically the last place she should be right now. But he also had to agree with her. As much as he disregards it, when she's drunk and high, she forgets her problems, at least for that night. She intoxicates herself to the point of oblivion, feeling free, detached, liberated from her other vices that accompany and restrict her in everyday life. He thought that if she could be distracted, if anywhere she could feel good today, or at least a little better, it would be on a night out. But to hear that even this otherwise safe distraction went wrong, that she was so unwell that she had to be taken home by Harry, is beyond what he himself has experienced with her so far. It makes him suspect bad things, it only makes his worry grow stronger and greater. Yet he feels trapped, because what can he do? How can he help her? Hasn't he already tried everything? He stands by her side, is always there, pesters her with a thousand questions when he notices something fishy, hardly ever lets her out of his sight. What else can he do? Can he do anything at all?

She appeared at the video shoot together with Harry the next morning. Thick sunglasses on her nose, seemingly more than aware of last night's events and her self-proclaimed need for a cover-up. Zach was determined to talk to her, sometime, whenever a quiet minute would present itself. But there was not a quiet minute, not one. Very much too early for everyone involved, all of whom joined the night out yesterday, the day of shooting got underway. Quick make-up, costume on and then the shooting already started. Eight hours until the first and only break, until it took another six hours until they had all the scenes in the bag. Only for today, though. As the crew found out today, they had to extend for a day because they had to include more in their scene planning that they wouldn't be able to do today. That means another night in Italy.

Today, however, Zach was determined not to let Jade out of his sight for a second. To his reassurance, though, she made no move to go anywhere but her hotel room when they finished shooting. She thought nothing of it as he sat in the car with her. After all, they spend a lot of time together anyway and stay in the same hotel. She also thought nothing of it when he accompanied her to her room. She only eyed him oddly when he stepped over the threshold and locked the door behind him.