The Destination

Twenty Six

I don't know how I came back to room. I were listening them, and the news stabbed my heart hard. I can't understand my own feelings. I wanted to runaway but, why I'm attracted to them?.

I locked the room and throwed myself on bed. Yoongi's heat triggered by someone else not me.

But, why it's hurt me lot?. Why I felt betroyed? I should have try to runaway or plan to seduce Jimin.

I mumbled cried into pillows. It's hurts my feelings. Yoongi is in someone's hold, he getting pleasure from someone else embarce.

It will happen to everyone. Namjoon, seokjin, Hoseok, taehyung, and Jungkook leaves for their potential mates. Even Jimin too. But, why they acted all like I'm belong to them?, why they acted like they love me? Why they made me belive they will love me forever and they will protect me?  They should have let me die in shelter. They should let me get away when I did run. They should've let me go with Jimin.

I felt pathetic, the thoughts drived me crazy. Jimin will never loves me anymore like before. And they just made it worse for me to convince him.

I gazed at the door, it was locked. Noone gonna barge in anytime soon. Yoongi is their important task for while. I have nice time for now, I can do anything. I sat up on bed and looked around the room. The suicide thought made me Shiver.

I never intended to kill my ownself. I never had such a situation before. But, now I don't have anything to relay on. I should made this decision, soon I know about my father. He betroyed me too.

I'm sorry Manya, I should have protected you. You're the only regret in my whole life. If I just protected you, this would not happened at first place.

I stood and Walked to desk. I saw there a paper cutter in. I kneeled on floor with frustration. Why I thinking like this?.

Is death gonna solve anything? Why I endured to all those hardships? just because I wanted to live. I don't want to die, I just want to live the way I want. I want to live more than anything. I thought if I just endure all, then oneday everything will be okey. So, why I'm doing this to me?

I shake my head looked my face at the mirror. I could not find muself in the reflection. I was a butterfly back then, but what made me look like this. A messy caterpillar. I feel like my wings got ripped away from me. It's true anyway, my wings ripped before I came here. But, I didn't realise that. I thought I'm alright, but I'm no longer able to fly anymore.

Being a frustrated mess. I fall on bed once again, staring ceiling. Thinking about my future, there is none. I can't even imagine, how it gonna be like.

"Y/N....!" I heared yoongi roar. I heared in distance, maybe he is roaring from living room. I'm upstairs.

I don't have any strength to face him. He is in heat, Why should I respond him back?. When I know he just looking for me to bed with him.

Jimin asked me to prove my loyalty to him!. I should atleast keep him by myside. If I want to be with him, I need to avoid others. Even it cost my mental health. I need to ignore them. They will gone oneday like how yoongi did today. Their insticts will take over them. But, jimin never gonna leave me. He will be my side forever, I just need to act the way he like.

I repeated these words inside my head. Not believing them, they want to separate me from Jimin. Seokjin, and Jungkook, they both lied to me.

"Y/n..." I heared yoongi's voice again. With him another roar followed, it's not others. It must that female Wolf's. Hating, yoongi calling my name.

"Hyung! Just already go to heat room"  frustrated Hoseok.

"I WON'T"  It's loudest roar, I ever heared from this household. I run to my room door and made sure it was locked. Soon, I felt the handle moving aggressively from outside. "Y/N" he growled. "Open" he ordered.