By the Weak

21

I woke early Monday for work. It wasn't planned. No, I woke early because my thighs were sticky with blood.

I gave myself a long joy-filled shower and planned my future birth control options. I cleared the mirror with my towel and as my face became clear in the reflection my celebration paused and my smile dropped.

Despite my concern about the pregnancy, I had actually set aside the plans to break things off with Joel. I had begun to mentally plan for a life as a single mom. And I had started to see a future that wasn't a lonesome death march.

I reminded myself that Joel didn't need this complication. I reminded myself that I couldn't have a teenage father to my child. I remembered why I planned to end things next week in the first place. And this pregnancy scare was a shining example that epitomized why this relationship was a non-starter.

Joel was beginning lacrosse practice this week, plus he was back at his mother's house and starting a new semester. Time with him would be a premium. And I needed to make some decisions.

It didn't help that I had a date scheduled with his father. A date that I was excited about, but at the same time nervous. The nerves came from the unknown. What was the plan? What did they want me to be to them?

The questions kept me at surface-level texts all week to both men. I didn't remember to tell either of them about my period because I just wanted to plan my next moves. But I didn't plan - I had not one single plan as Saturday evening arrived. I was torn in every direction possible.

The doorbell rang at exactly 6:00. I had spent the day rushing around, cleaning, and removing any signs of Christmas. I basically hopped to the front door as I tried to put my heel on my foot. "Coming!"

I composed myself at the front door and then opened it to a very well kempt Garrett. His hair was brushed back to keep his curls at bay and his face was freshly shaved. The blue suit he wore almost appeared casual since he didn't wear a tie, but he was pressed with a brown belt and shoes that complimented his eyes. He looked like he stepped out of GQ.

I ran my sweaty hands down my dress. I had worn something a little more mature than I would have worn with Joel. Although the black dress was form-fitting, the neckline was high and the hem hit my knees. Slits ran up both sides of the a-line skirt and showed just enough thigh to get some attention. I wore my sexiest undergarments with stockings and the stilettos Joel found earlier in the week. I felt good, but I still was self-conscious about being with a man that personified refinement.

The smile playing on Garrett's lips grew as he watched me fidget. He seemed to enjoy my unease as he slightly tilted his head to the side and caught his lower lip in a teasing bite. "Sade, you look lovely," he said. "Are you ready?"

I held up my finger and hurried to the kitchen to grab my clutch and keys. Garrett took the opportunity to step inside and glance around my front room. "Sorry," I muttered as I held up the reason for our delay.

"You purchased this place all on your own, huh?" Garrett asked as he examined the mantle's woodwork and the screen above.

"Yeah. Took the better part of the year, but I wanted something to call my own."

"Divorce is hard - getting used to not sharing everything with someone else," Garrett mused as he walked back to the door where I stood. "I have a reservation downtown. I hope you enjoy steak."

"Of course. That sounds nice," I said as we walked out the front door. We were halfway to the car when I spotted Christy, Joel's mom, closing her driver's door. She was staring at us as we continued the short distance to the passenger side of the Audi. I gave a small friendly wave before I reached the door, but she didn't return it.