Stealth. (FtM Karl)

Confess

That's right folks.
It's time.
I'm back. 💪

Recap: (I recommend re-reading the last few chapters anyway) Sapnap accidentally breaks Dream's mask and they haven't talked since (it's been like 2 days, it's currently the same Saturday as where we left off in the last chapter). George is trying his best to comfort Dream, and Karl goes to their house and ends up opening up about his past SH scars, he plans on telling Sapnap and leaves their home to do so.
(If I get anything wrong please correct me, I skimmed a lot of the story while re-reading)

And now we are here.

Third person pov:
After quickly realising that Nick wasn't home, he slid his phone out of his pocket and sent him a message.

Karl: not home?
Nick: at the river with Wilbur, need me to come back?
Karl: no that's alright, just want to talk to you at some point, have fun :)

Sapnaps pov:
(Earlier)
Sitting in the usual spot by the river with Wilbur, one topic lead to another, and then another, and other till eventually I realised something.

"Could I ask you a question?" I start.
"Hmm, i don't know... yeah, why not." He joked.
I smiled at this, "it's a bit of a random question, but you live with someone who's transgender; I wanted to know if there's maybe anything I should look out for?"
He looked slightly stumped by this, "what do you mean?"
I struggled to find the correct way to phrase it for a moment, "as in like- I'm not too sure. I don't really want to ask Karl too many questions about being trans since he's only recently escaped a place that forbid it, he's finally free to be himself, you know?"

"Yeah, that makes sense." He replied, "what kind of things do you mean by 'look out for'?"
"I'm not sure, I know trans people struggle a lot with their day to day sometimes, I was just wondering if maybe you knew anything from personal experience"

He hummed, "well, Tommy did struggle a lot when he first came out, especially since he can't start hormones yet."

'Starting hormones' I thought, it wasn't something I'd talked to Karl about yet. Actually we haven't talked but about a lot of things relating to being transgender. It felt like something I had no right to bring up without him initiating the topic.

He continued, "I'm not sure about things to look out for though, everyone is different and unfortunately some people are better at hiding things than others." He stated, "but knowing Karl, I'm sure he will tell you anything without judgement."

I sighed, "yeah, you're right. Thanks, Wilbur; I'm just worried about-"

*insert silly little ringtone*

I look at my phone to see the first message I've received all day, Karl.
Karl: not home?

Nick: at the river with Wilbur, need me to come back?
Karl: no that's alright, just want to talk to you at some point, have fun :)

Nick: I'm coming

"I gotta go Wilbur, I enjoyed the chat" I said as I got up to leave.
"See ya, man" he replied.
I walk back to the house.

Third person:
Karl was slightly surprised that he would leave his plans just like that to come and see him, but it made him feel... special? He clung to this rare feeling.

It didn't take long for Nick to get back, the river wasn't that far away from the house.
No matter how comforting the smile on the boy approaching him was, he still felt himself shake at the thought of having to bring up his past.

They said their hellos and went inside the home, walking up the stairs and into his room, they sat on the bed. They were in the exact same place that started this little issue. It was silence for a moment.
"What did you want to talk about?" Nick asked, hoping deep down that it would answer some of his recent questions.

"Um.. so about the other day..." he started, picking at his own fingernails anxiously, eyes glued to said actions, "I want to- I mean like- well, what I-"
"It's okay" Nick interrupts,  "take your time." He places in hands on Karl's and allows him to fidget with them a bit as he take a breath.
"Okay. So, there is a lot of stuff I need to talk to you about that I've kind of been avoiding." He manages, "um, it's kind of something that is easier to show than to explain. I mean I will obviously explain, it's just the way I phrase it sounds a lot worse than it is and I don't want you to like get the wrong idea or something you know?"

Nick waited for him to finish, noting the clear anxious ramblings taking place, "okay" he kept a soft smile on his face, even though the build up was beginning to stress him out. He wanted Karl to know that he loved him no matter what.

"Okay." He removed his hands and stood up next to the bed, not as close to Nick as he was before; he needed some room, not just to show him, but to set an imaginary boundary for emotional safety, not quite sure how it works but it brought him comfort regardless.
He grabbed the back collar of his sweater and pulled it over his head, eventually revealing the front of him to Nick, the shirt laying discarded on the floor next to him. He the only thing on his upper half was the nude binder covering his chest.
Nick's eyes widened, but managed to still have that soft look in them. Karl could feel his eyes scanning his shirtless torso and arms, knowing exactly what was there.

Karl looked at the ground. "Before you ask, I stopped 8 months ago. I haven't had the urge to since, so I am clean."

Sapnap felt his heart ache at that number, 8 months, after remembering what month it was the day he stopped he knew that it was the month that school started and they first met. When he managed to escape his home, when he was finally able to be himself.

"This is the only reason that I hesitated last time" he stated, "I know it's not a pretty sight, I'm sorry" he chuckled, half joking, you could tell the laugh was forced. He just didn't want Nick to like him any less for this; even with every logical explanation saying otherwise, there was always that little voice at the back. The 'what if's.

"Hey," Nick started, still sat on the bed, he gently took Karl's hand and pulled it towards him, guiding the boy closer until he stood between his legs. He held Karl's arm gently, and examined the healed wounds for a few more seconds before pulling the limb closer to his face and kissing it.
He did this with the other arm too, and then in three spots across his stomach where other scars laid, scattered. He then grabbed Karl's face with his hands, delicately, he kissed his cheek a few times which trailed to his lips. He had never felt this kind of love before.
Pulling away, he stroked the boys cheek, wiping away any stray tears that had fallen. "It's okay." He smiled.

"Do you promise?" Karl asked, voice cracking slightly.
"I triple promise."