Stealth. (FtM Karl)

No

Triggers:
Mentions of disassociating
Mentions of gender dysphoria
Mentions of drilling a hole in your skull :D

-skip to after they've done with school because I'm lazy-

Nick knocked on the door, Wilbur and his twin brother close behind. Wilbur lived there, but Nick had visited so often that he basically lived there too at that point. Phil half expect him to just turn up randomly like this.
Speaking of Phil, he opened the door, coffee in hand as if preparing for extra children in the house, and allowed the boys inside.

"Ah, Sapnap, how are you doing?"
"I'm alright, is Karl okay?" He asked quickly, it was painfully obvious that he had been waiting all day to ask that.
"Oh, yes, of course that's why you're here." He muttered, he plodded up the stairs giving Sapnap a hand signal implying for him to 'stay out for a moment', constantly mid-sip of coffee like he was just in hailing the fumes and physically living off of them.

"Karl," he started, fully aware of Karl's current situation, he knocked on the door gently, "your boyfriend's here" he stated, you could hear the huge smirk-like grin on his face, Wilbur could never keep his mouth shut about things like this and so Phil was just always 'in the loop' as some would put it, "do you want me to send him up?" He asked.

"Yeah..." a voiced groaned from inside the room.
"Alrighty" the older replied, walking back down the stairs and giving the kid a thumbs up.
Nick immediately started up the stairs to Karl's room where he knocked first, being the polite gentleman that he is, "come in" the voice was quiet and drained.

He opened the door, revealing his boyfriend on the bed, well, half on the bed, really. To be exact, the teen was laying on his back with the top half of his body hanging off the side of the bed, his head almost touching the floor.
His face was conflicted. A worrying mix of pain and distress and an ounce of happiness that Sapnap could only assume was because of his arrival.

"You okay?" Nick asked, assuming the boy had skipped school because he was upset, and usually he didn't skip unless completely necessary.
"Yeah, I'm great." He lied.
Nick sighed, "you know, you're going to get a headache from being upside down like that for too long." He walked over and sat on the bed beside the upside down boy.

Karl hummed in response to this, he sounded empty; distant, he just seemed upset about something, "did you know that if you do a handstand long enough that you can get similar symptoms to being high?" He suddenly stated, before Sapnap could reply, Karl continued, "Bart Hughes was inspired to drill a hole in his skull by a jazz drummer who said he would stand on his head to get high" he stated, staring at the wall, "something to do with blood flow and stuff."

"So... he drilled a hole in his head?"
"Yup. To get himself permanently high. That guy then inspired Joe Mellen to drill a hole in his skull too. Trepanation. Releases pressure within the skull which is sealed when u reach adulthood when you stop growing."
"So, what, you're trying to get high?"
"No, just bored and remembered a fun fact." He replied, "actually, I'm extremely dizzy right now and I feel like my head will explode. I don't know how that jazz drummer did it." He reached his hand up for Sapnap to grab, who lifted him up onto the bed.
Now that Karl was sat up right, he lay his head on the others lap, facing the opposite way from him without a word.

"Why weren't you in today?" He asked, still confused by why Karl knows so much about trepanation and stuff but had more pressing matters to attend.
Karl sighed quietly, "just not my day." He answered vaguely, avoiding the reason.
"Did something happen?" The other frowned, his hand subconsciously started fidgeting with the end of his hair.
Karl found this very relaxing, "just, I don't know, it's hard."
"What is?"
"Just... explaining it?" He replied, "even if I tried you wouldn't understand, you would probably deny it anyway."
"If you think it might help, you can tell me, I want to hear it."

He thought for a moment, the way he'd phrase the whole thing in the most understandable way. It's not an entirely new topic for Sapnap, but Karl still struggled to explain it to him.
"I don't know. It's just dumb, really; the moment I say it out loud I'll feel like an idiot." He chuckled.

By this point, the other boy had subconsciously begun to comb his hand through the boys hair, "it's not dumb. Come on, let me hear it." He asked calmly, his tone indicating that it was still okay to say no. No pressure.

Karl shrugged before twisting his torso round so that he could arrange his head up straight to look at his boyfriend's face.
"It was really weird," he began, "I woke up and I just didn't feel like I was actually there, like I was in a sort of VR game and my body wasn't actually my own, like I was just my spectating soul, like I couldn't feel my soul touching my body? I'm not sure, that's the only way I can describe it, it's like nothing was real." He began to explain, "everything just felt wrong this morning, it all just went downhill from there." He continued, the other boy listened and continued to play with Karl's hair, "it was just a really dysphoric day for me I guess. It kind of hit me mid thought, that I will never have facial hair or a deep voice during my years in education, and I guess everything that happened before with my parents just caught up with me. It felt like I have just been living in a dream this whole time, everything playing out smoothly and yet every situation being so dramatic that there's no way it's real."

"Why can't it be real?"

"Because this is everything I've ever wanted." He stated.
"Stealth life, friends, boyfriend, being accepted." He listed, looking into Nicks eyes with a small smile, "I don't want to wake up. I don't know what I would do if I closed my eyes and opened them to that room in my parents house again, none of you existing and my hair still long." He explained, his eyes tearing up.

Nick frowned, his hand moved from Karl's hair to his cheek, he stroked it gently, "hey, I'm not going anywhere okay? I'm not a dream, I promise." He swore, he smiled, "I can slap you if you want." He teased.
Karl smiled at this, "nope. Not going to risk it." He stated.

They sat in a calming silence for a few seconds.
"Do you feel better now?"
"I felt better the moment you walked through that door."