Stealth. (FtM Karl)

Coming out

"Really? Are you sure?" George asked, seeming happy but trying his best to hide it as it is a serious conversation, "I mean- yes. Yeah, sure, no problem I'm all ears." He stumbled over his own words a bit, surprised that I had chosen this kind of random moment to finally explain what I had previously promised to talk to him about.

"Thanks. Um..." I looked around, the hallway was empty but held potential for company, "can we go somewhere more private?" I asked sheepishly.

"Of course, yeah... your room maybe? That's the only place I can think of right now..." he concluded.

He followed me up the stairs this time as I led him into my room and made sure to lock the door. I gestured to my desk chair, and he sat down.

I cleared my throat before laughing nervously, "ive never actually done this before... well I have, but in worse circumstances..." I started, fidgeting with my nails again, "um. Well, you witnessed most of it, the argument with my dad and the whole... collapsing thing..." I continued, "and it's kind of unfair that you've been there for me but I've just shut you out for most of it, Bad wasn't there and even he knows more than you and I don't think that's fair because I'm just starting to make you worry more and-..." I stopped myself, realising I'm rambling, subconsciously procrastinating, it's so easy to say it but the words, I knew, would change my relationship with George forever, for better or for worse.

I cleared my throat once again, "but the thing I'm about to tell you will answer all of your questions, it will explain all the situations I somehow got myself into over the past few week." I explained vaguely.

George just say it my chair as I stood, trying to explain it, he was being very patient with me, and I appreciated that. It felt like it was making this so much easier.

I took a deep breath, trying to relax but to no avail, this was too stressful even though I knew that it was most likely going to go well.

"George, I'm trans." I managed to finally say. Who knew three simple words would be so hard to say? They felt stuck in my throat, it was weird to say out loud every single time.
It didn't really feel quite real, like I might've said it in my head but not out loud, or it was just a dream.

George looked confused.
"Do... do you know what that means?" I asked.

He shook his head slowly, "no... sorry."

"And that's perfectly okay." I tried to smile reassuringly, my hands shaking uncontrollable amounts. 'It could still go badly' my anxiety screamed at me.

"Um. Well, so by 'trans' I mean 'transgender'" I explained, "so that means that I don't identify as the gender I was born as. So, on my birth certificate it says female and I was raised as female, but then I realised that I'm male."

George nodded as I spoke, seeming to understand, or at least trying his best to follow along with what I was saying.

I tried my best to explain it as simply as possible, after doing so much research over the few years I've known, I forget just how uneducated most people really are. I forget how little I knew before I researched, I can't imagine myself not knowing what I know now since it's such an important part of my life currently.

After explaining the basic stuff, I realised I was massively off track. So I decided to explain what I had promised to.
"So about the other day, on call" I started, "my dad isn't... well, he isn't very accepting of my transition, he just refuses make any effort to understand what I'm feeling or even just do some research" I informed, "but anyway, what you saw on the call was one of the few fights we've had about it since the topic was usually avoided." I explained, "he thought I was trans because of the internet and so took it from me."

George frowned at this, still staying silent, just wanting to listen for now.

"Then that night, he stole my binder. It's this thing I wear to flatten my chest and help me look more masculine." I explained, "and so I didn't go in the next day because I couldn't find it. The day after, I used ace bandages to bind, I didn't want to make you worry about me and it would take a month or so to get a new one" I told him, "and well, you saw what happened. The bandages tightened which they are meant to do but then I started to panic and it made the whole situation worse, then I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I collapsed." I shrugged, hoping it would make it seem less bad, "but luckily I was given a couple spare by a friend when Bad came to check on me. My father was.. well, Bad could tell that he wasn't the best adult to be living in a house with right now so he told me I could stay with him." I finished.

"Wow... Karl I'm so sorry..." George sympathised, "that really sucks, I'm sorry you had to go through all of that..." he frowned, "but I'm glad that you're with Bad now, you seem a lot happier here." He added, "and I hope you know that you can talk to me about this sort of stuff whenever you need to, okay? I'm very proud of you, and you are so strong ." He smiled at me.

"Thanks George." I smiled back, still shaking for some reason, it seems I still hadn't quite calmed down yet, "but another reason why I told you, is because of what you heard earlier? My dad called me, he probably got a cheap burner phone or something. But he wants me to come home."

"You're not going to are you??" George asked, worried.

"What? No, of course not." I denied, "never. But, he sounded quite determine for somehow change my mind. I'm worried he might try and track me down or something..." I told him.

George nodded, he stood up and placed his hands on my shoulders, "right, I will make sure to always stick by you. I'll be your personal body guard, free of charge" he insisted, "if I see him, I'll harvest his spleen. A useless, useless organ, it'll be more of a warning theft." He joked... I think.

"Thanks, but you don't have to do that." I laughed, "I'll tell Bad later aswell." I added, "and thanks for listening to me, I'm guessing you know not to tell anyone?"

"Of course! It's something you can decide whether or not to tell someone. I understand." He let go of my shoulders.

"I'm glad. I just hope you don't see me any differently..." I admitted.

"Why would I? You're still Karl regardless of what you used to be called, right?" He shrugged, "not a big deal" he added, "you want to go back to the others? Or do you want to chill in here for a bit?"

"No, I think I'm ready to go back now." I stated.
"Great, let's go!" He cheered, leading me out the room again and towards Dreams once again.

(Sorry, I noticed this chapter isn't as well written some of the others, but I hope you're still enjoying it enough to continue) :)