Milan In Love

2

Although I felt my heart beat out of my chest, I got up and walked away from the scene. I thought for a moment about facing them, about yelling at him, to hit him and her, but I know that premeditated words will not come out of my mouth when I see him, no,  a painful and embarrasing mix of sobbing, crying and mucus will come out.

Just like what was coming out as I was heading home.

How could I be so delusional? Of course they were going to be together, they were perfect, even his friends said so.

Because she was everything that I am not and now I'm painfuly awared of that.

My phone started to ring pulling me out of my self destructive thoughts.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi? Milan where are you? You're supossed to be home by now?" Said Giselle.

I took my phone away from my ear and cleared my throat before answering. I didn't want her to know that I was crying. "I took a walk with shayla before going Home, but i'm on my way now."

"Well hurry up, you know your dad worries." No, he doesn't, but I didn't have the energy to address that.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm on my way." When she finally hung up, I started to sob again. I'm glad I was the only one walking on the sidewalks.

...

When I was in front of the house I made sure to fix my makeup before entering, there was still a lump In my troath though.

"Well, you almost didn't make it to dinner." Giselle says, her hands on her hips.

I let out a long breath. "Well, I'm here, am I not?" She seemed taken aback, honestly I did too, I had never answered her in such a way.

She frowned before answering. "Go to your room and get ready for dinner." In a harsh tone.

And I did just that, trying not to cry in the solace of my room, trying to distract myself from the fact that I felt humiliated and pathetic. All this time begging for the affection of someone who only used me, I wish I had noticed that before I slept with his disgusting ass.

My phone started to ring, it was Shayla, I know she would ask me why I didn't call and I know if she asks me, I'll start crying on the phone, so i sent her a quick text saying that i would call her later, because i know she will keep calling me until i answer.

When I was ready, I went to the living room and just then Giselle was serving the food, while my brother and my father talked about sports, as always, ignoring me.

Before Giselle could sit down Lawrence -my brother- started eating, earning  himself a smack on the back of his head. " We pray before we eat!" Said Giselle throught clenched teeth.

"Sorry." Mumbled Lawrence.

I couldn't help but smirk, they were really my favorite part about coming home, my dad on the other part... Not so much

we say our prayers and start eating, like at the beginning of dinner, my dad and Lawrence are transported to their own conversation, while Giselle glances at me occasionally, like trying to figure me out.

I'm just trying to eat with the hard lump In my troath.

"Your coach call me today, Milan." My dad said. Shit.

"Yeah? What did he say?" I asked

"He said that you haven't been going to practice this week." He said, his tone more hostile now.

"Well, I was actually going to tell you... I-I been thinking about taking a break from track."

There was a long silence in the table after I said that, until my dad let out a scoff.

"You..."

"Please don't start." Interrupted Giselle.

"Don't start with what Giselle? What is she gonna do if she leaves the track team? She's becoming lazy-" He said, agitated.

"That's not true." I said with my voice shaking.

"Yes it is, look at you! You're already getting fat." He said, looking at my body.

And just at that moment, I couldn't help it, my hands began to shake and the knot that I had in my throat began to unravel in what seemed like a sob.

I started crying and sobbing like a little girl, everyone at the table looked at me in surprise, so with my dinner in hand, I got up from the table crying to my room.

"Look what you did!" Giselle yelled at my dad.

...

"And then my dad found about me leaving track and called me fat!" I sobbed talking to Shayla on the phone.

"Ain't your dad fat and bald? I know he not talking." I couldn't help but laugh through the tears.

"God, this is so embarrasing! How could he tell me he only had eyes for me and all that shit while he was messing around with that hoe."

"You know how men are, they could tell you they love you and love every part of you while still fucking another bitch on the side." She let out a sigh. "I'm so sorry, babe, just remember that the actions of that stupid ass boy don't have anything to do with you, he did that because he ain't satisfied with himself."

I let out a chuckle."You really been going to therapy, huh?"

"And you should go to, since my mom has been messing around with my therapist I could get you a discount." She said.

"Even with the discount, I don't think my dad would pay for that." I said, letting out a scoff. "Isn't it weird for you that your therapist could be your potential stepdad?"

"Nah, I know my mom, she doesn't like commitment." She said. "By the way, you still going to the party on friday? It could cheer you up."

"I don't know, everytime I remember it I start... To cry." I said, my voice shaking and my eyes filling with tears. Not again.

"Babe... Why don't you take tomorrow off of school, cry what you have to cry, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah so I can go to the party on friday huh?"

"Exactly. Be ready love, don't stress to much, i'll be going to your house tomorrow. Love you, bye." Before I could answear she hung up.