The Devil's Poison (Akutagawa X Reader)

Chapter 18/ Apology

"I refuse to fall behind again, to become a weak helpless puppy once more, to become the underdog to some cat! So you either keep up and stop dragging me backwards, or you'll die like runts are supposed to!"

-

Those words kept repeating over and over in your head. Your body tensing as you were filled with rage.

"Seriously?! Why can't you just think for one minute about anyone other than yourself!" You started to shout, anger overwhelming you.

"Not everyone is a ruthless bloodlust filled jerk like you Akutagawa! So stop acting like you're the only one who exists!" You continued, you soon turning on your heals to leave.

You were done with him and his selfish behavior. All he did was worry about himself and snap at you if you even so dared to blink in his direction.

Besides he was just going to run the mission on his own and yell at you for "being in the way", so you might as well go home and relax since it is supposed to be your day off.

There was a quick sound from Akutagawa, like he was about to say something back, but he stopped himself.

All traces of hope that he'd apologize to you leaving your body.

Whatever, he'll be fine on his own anyway. You thought as you left, leaving the man behind.

-

It had been a few hours since the dispute between you two.

You hadn't done much besides chat with some people and lounge around.

It was quite peaceful, moments like these and anyone other than Akutagawa making joining the PM worth it.

Though with your luck, quite moments don't last all too long around here, to no surprise.

There was commotion around the building, the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the hall.

You decided to check it out, though to your horror, ahead of you was the unconscious body of Akutagawa.

He was being carried on a stretcher towards the infirmary, his body looking frail and damaged. He was even soaked, like he took a dive into the ocean or something.

Oh my god, what happened? You thought, worry lacing your mind as you tried to process the sight.

You wanted to ask what happened, who or what could have possibly gotten one over on him, but you knew now wasn't the time.

So instead you looked for Kyouka, trying your best to get a word on the situation.

Though again to your surprise she was no where to be found.

"Damnit, did the plan really go south again?" You mumbled to yourself, every possibility racing through your thoughts.

What if Dazai showed back up? Or maybe that Atsushi kid managed to beat him somehow?

Though you wouldn't know until later, so you decided to pass time until then.

-

You were heading down to the infirmary, it having been 5 hours since the man was brought back from the mission.

You wanted to see if there were any updates, or if he'd awaken yet.

You were about to open the door to the room, though before you could open it Higuchi came out from the other side.

"Oh hey Y/N." She said, slight surprise lacing her voice.

"Oh hey." You said, your gaze shifting away from her.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened, I-! I mean when I shot you." Higuchi said, her face looking distressed as she spoke.

You could tell she was sorry, and honestly at this point you didn't care about what had happened anymore.

"The past is the past Higuchi, so I forgive you." You spoke, quickly continuing to change the subject. "How is he though? Is Akutagawa okay?"

"Oh uh, he hasn't awoke yet, I'm sorry Y/N."

You just nodded, a sigh escaping your lips as you took in the news.

Despite what you said to him earlier, or what you try to tell yourself, you couldn't help but care about him.

Just something about him struck you in a way no one else has before.

Even if he is horrible to deal with sometimes.

You knew he was hurt, that he didn't act like the way he does because he's just a prick, but because he was conditioned to.

Though it's still not okay, and that's why it made you so upset. Why when he did say something hurtful you couldn't help but snap back.

"Thank you Higuchi, I hope you have a good night." You spoke before walking into the room, the unconscious body of Akutagawa laying ahead.

You moved to sit down next to him, your eyes falling over his relaxed face.

He truely was beautiful in a interesting way.

His beauty being the one thing you couldn't ever get off your mind when you thought of him.

"Damnit you idiot." You finally spoke, unsure if your words would reach him in his unconscious state.

"You always get way into your head and act like nothing can stop you, huh? But deep down you know something can... That you aren't invincible." You continued, your thoughts coming out as an unstoppable stream of words.

"Your insufferable sometimes, but I get that. You haven't had the best life, neither have I or everyone else here in this stupid place. So you act out, or get easily angered because you're scared you'll get treated badly again. That life will take any moment of weakness to grab you by the neck and ruin you all over again."

Tears started to prick in your eyes, your emotions finally getting to you. The action of actually speaking your thoughts causing you to become upset.

"Damnit, I don't know what I'm saying, or if you can even hear this, but despite everything I understand you, as much as I can at least. What I'm trying to say is I don't want any bad blood, and I'm sorry for lashing out on you earlier. For leaving you behind and causing this to happen to you."

You wiped the tears from your eyes as you spoke, taking a deep breath to keep your composure.

You felt both relived yet full of anxiety. Fear that Akutagawa may have heard you filling your mind.

"Rest easy, alright?" You says before raising from your seat.

You soon leaving to resign for the night.