𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

"I saw my therapist today. We've been talking about us, and I told her about how we keep arguing," suddenly, everything that isn't his face is much more comforting than looking at the disappointed look he sends me.

"She thinks that we may need to take a step back from sex. That because of it, we continue to argue without actually fixing our issues. I love you, but I don't think I can keep arguing with you everyday.

God, we're stuck in this cycle where we argue, have sex then argue again. We never actually talk through stuff. So, maybe we should take a step back from it."

He looks at me dumbfound, "Did you just say you love me?"

What? "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. You said that you love me but can't keep arguing with me." A smile appears on his face, and I'm tempted to reach out for one of the pillows on the couch and suffocate myself.

"Okay, yeah I did. But, did you hear anything else I said?"

"Of course I did," He reaches out to me, and moves a strand of my hair away from my face, "And I'll try everything we need to do, to make this work, because I love you too."

I pull him close, hiding my face in his chest, to ensure he doesn't see how hard I'm smiling.

He moves away from me and pinches my chin between his thumb and index to force me to look at him. "I'm sorry for this morning, and for just leaving while you were mad. I shouldn't have done that.

My whole life, I've repressed my emotions and walked away even when I know it's better to stay. But I'm trying, Ange. I'm really trying to be better for you. So, I promise that next time, when I know you're upset with me, I'll let you vent, and I'll listen, instead of leaving."

I nod and pull him in for a kiss.

It's day seventeen without sex, and it's like Alessandro heard that we needed to take a break from sex and decided to up the seduction by a hundred.

I have never seen someone who walk around shirtless, in the middle of winter, as much as Alessandro does. He continuously comes out of the shower in a towel that hangs very low on his hips, as drops of water fall down from his chin, making their way to his chest and finally hiding under his towel, reaching places I refuse to think about whilst I can't have sex with him. 

But he seems to be doing great, though. Whenever we're in bed and we're both down to our underwear, he pulls me in, so that my ass is against his dick, with nothing more than the thin layers of the garments separating us.

Whenever I move teasingly, he just reminds me of our 30 days of abstinence and pulls away.

I could cry.

Because we're not having sex, every time we argue we need to sort through our feelings together, and deal with them, because we sleep in the same bed every night, in mine or his house.

We followed  Dr Johnson's advice and we're seeing a couple counselor, when we have time, and thanks to her we figured out that most of our old arguments were continuations of the ones we had previously, that we didn't deal with.

A knock on my door takes me away from my thoughts, and when I open the door, Maia is waiting for me on the other side. I let her in after a hug.

"Angie, I wanted to ask you something." I turn ninety degrees, to show her all my attention is on her, "I think I'm ready to press charges against Mike. I found out that he is fostering kids and I have felt this weigh in my chest ever since, telling me to help the,  I can't let them be victims of assault when I know I could help."

"Okay. Do you want me to drive you to the police station?"

Nodding, she says, "Yes, but I don't know if it'll be worth it. All they have is a statement I made to the doctor. Do you think that will be enough?

Mike has power, and if this will just cause more harm than good, maybe I could find another way before going to the police. I don't know hot these things work."

"I could help," As I say the words, the walls seem to be closing in on me, the clothes I've been wearing all day, begin to feel itchy and my throat feels like its closing up.

"When he assaulted me, I did a rape kit, when I went to hospital. There's pictures, blood samples from under my nails, hair, anything he left on me.

I've managed to suppress that event, and because I never wanted to relive it, I never pressed charges, especially because dad didn't believe me. I just thought that if he didn't who would. But if it can help you, and help save those kids from him, then I will."