Genesis

15. Bloody socks

It's been exactly a day since I killed a man.

I haven't left my room.

I don't want to, what if his blood still stains the loungeroom floor?

And most importantly why hasn't anyone called the police?

I killed a man. Killed.

He's dead and he's not coming back.

He was going to kill Xander, he hurt Gunner, so it's not like he's innocent but I still feel this horrible guilty feeling.

I hate it. I don't want to feel like this.

I could really use some alcohol right about now.

I sigh as I sit up, scrunching my nose up at the gross stench, that's coming from me.

I'm a sweaty mess.

I seriously need a shower.

I throw my blanket off myself and stand, walking to the bathroom at snail pace.

I look between the shower and bathtub, trying to decide which to use.

I pick the bathtub, I feel like soaking the homicide I committed off my body.

If you can even do that.

I sit at the edge of the tub and run the water.

Feeling it up with boiling water.

When it's full I dip my hand in and wince, pulling it back. My hand stinging slightly.

Perfect.

The burn will make me feel better.

I carefully take my brace off my hand and strip my clothes off, I bend to take my white socks off but freeze.

Blood.

Two small drops of blood is on my socks.

I feel bile rise to my throat and I cover my mouth, tears stinging my eyes.

Who knew murdering someone could make you so emotional.

I rip the socks off so roughly I'm surprised my toes didn't come off too.

I suck in my tears and swallow.

I breathe in and out deeply before putting one leg into the bathtub.

I wince again, squeezing my eyes shut.

It burns so bad but I deserve it.

Once I'm fully in the tub, shaking and scratching my skin from the burn, I begin to cry.

Big fat silent tears running down my face.

I haven't cried like this in ages.

I've been so emotional this past week, I hate it.

I sniffle and wipe my face with hot water after I'm finished with my little sob session.

Alright time to get out and go talk to Zachariah.

                                 ____

The bruises that were on my stomach are finally starting to fade, they are only a dark brown now.

It took them longer then usual.

Maybe Dane hit harder then usual.

Dane.

I haven't thought about my father in a while.

It's been a month since he died.

They said some car accident, hit and run or whatever.